”Use the hours with softness.”
Don’t try to change the past, it’s impossible. The only way to change the future is by making the most of the present. Being a control freak by nature I’ve decided to work on being more patient with myself, in order to find a sense of calmness within; personal features that I strongly believe are highly beneficial to the body, mind & soul.
But how is it even possible to stay patient and calm in a world that’s constantly changing? To stay satisfied with what is, when the mind is obsessed with living in the past or worrying about the future? It’s like it does anything just to escape the now.
”I don’t want to be here, I need to get to there.” ”When I find that perfect partner, that perfect job, earn loads of money and become successful, then I’ll be happy.” ”I’m not satisfied with where I am, I need to have more, be more; then my life will be fulfilled.”
The ego will never be fulfilled; no matter how much recognition, power or success it receives the ego will always crave more.
The ego doesn’t thrive by being in the present. However, the present moment is all there ever is and will be; when something happens, it always happens now. Nothing ever happens in the future, it happens in the moment.
It’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve goals, or visualizing a life filled with abundance, prosperity, love and happiness. Most likely these wonderful, external things will bring a great deal of joy and happiness into your life, but for the most part it’s a short-lived kind of happiness. After a while the ego eventually gets bored, unsatisfied, and starts craving more of that external success.
Nonetheless, achieving external success isn’t the root to your happiness. Constantly pleasing others, and thereby forgetting about your own wants and needs, isn’t a life well lived. Defining your worth according to how others treat you, isn’t going to make you feel more desirable. People may adore you, or they may dislike you, either way it shouldn’t affect you, since, in the end what you think about yourself is the only thing that matter. Of course it will hurt if you get abandoned, rejected or replaced. Despite the amount of pain you’re feeling, know that none of these circumstances will make you less worthy. Whether you didn’t get that promotion or you were replaced by another lover, you should never let it affect your inner happiness.
It’s easy, and very human, to fall into negative self-talk whenever something bad happens in life. Self-pity parties might feel okay at first, but in the end feeling sorry for yourself won’t make you feel any better. Adopting a more positive way of thinking is a first step towards a more solid kind of happiness;
”When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Maybe you didn’t get that promotion simply because there’s a much better option waiting for you? Why not trust the unfolding of your life? Why not accept and embrace this moment?
How does one discover an inner, true form of happiness?
By being present.
When you’re fully immersed in the moment, thoughts about what happened to you in the past, or doubts about the future won’t have any opportunity to grow. They will most likely try their best to sneak in, but as soon as you become fully conscious of the benefits of not holding on to them you’ll start to notice how effortlessly they pass through you. There’s nothing more pure and perfect than the simplicity of this moment. The beauty within a sunset, leaves falling down a tree on a sunny autumn day, a happy puppy playing with his toys. It’s everywhere, if you just took the time to stop and look around.
What is more, the present moment experience is the most healing state there is. Old emotions stored deep down in the body; whether it’s grief, anger, sadness or pain, need to be released out of your system. Unprocessed emotions can show up in different forms, such as a disease, judgement towards people you don’t know or as an addiction. They might even hold you back from evolving, hence keeping you stuck.
Be patient with yourself – deeply rooted emotions take time to heal.
While it’s far from a pleasant experience releasing old pain, it’s inevitable in order to find inner peace, inner happiness. It’s inevitable in order to make space for what’s to come, for new things to arise.
Inner happiness is different from external happiness; it isn’t found in your job title, nor is it found in the car you’re driving, the amount of friends you have, or the person you’re dating.
Inner happiness was born within you the same day you came into being; it has always been there, and will always be there, patiently waiting for you to grab hold of it.