”What is love? Love is the absence of judgment.”
No one in this world is pure and perfect, not even mother nature. If you constantly judge yourself for your wrong-doings, past mistakes and things not working out the way you hoped for you’ve misinterpreted what life’s all about. Life is about evolving, and learning. It’s about challenging oneself, and staying true to the things closest to our hearts. It’s about not giving up, although the road is foggy and you can’t see clearly. One step at a time. One breath at a time. Don’t judge yourself for not knowing what your future will bring. Instead, promise yourself this moment. One sunrise at a time.
I’ve been writing about being less judgmental in a former blog post – click the link to read it; Be less judgmental. However, in this post I want to put focus on being less judgmental towards ourselves.
”Darling, it’s your life; choose to focus on how you want to live your life.”
I believe a lot of the judgment we have towards ourselves stems from the fact that we constantly compare ourselves to others. When we compare ourselves to others (and usually to people we don’t even know) we generally use social media as a frame of reference. Following someone’s Insta-perfect life won’t make us feel any better about ourselves.
The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Focus on your own improvements. Darling, it’s your life, choose to focus on how you want to live your life. You don’t belong on the passenger side; you’re the mother******* pilot. However, this doesn’t mean that other humans can’t be a great source of inspiration. Personally I’m very inspired by kind-hearted people with a great deal of humour, ambition and healthy confidence. Someone who’s not afraid to go against the crowd, and who expresses themselves in an authentic manner.
This being said, it all starts with you. Be free, make mistakes, and dare to try things. Mess up, have fun, and embrace both failure and success. Life is not about being perfect. Life is about giving ourselves the space to be weird, quirky, wise, funny, lazy, passionate, creative, scared, sexy, confident, lost and lovingly compassionate towards ourselves and all sentient beings.
Don’t ever stop being you, just because you don’t think you’re worthy or good enough. Newsflash – you are, more than enough.
”Be open to the guidance, to the quiet whispers from within.”
Don’t blame yourself for your shortcomings – we all have them. Don’t blame yourself for past mistakes – we all have made them. Don’t blame yourself for not being where you thought you would be by now – we’re exactly where we’re meant to be right now. Rather, give yourself the benefit of the doubt – try to judge less, and love more, and see where life might take you. Be open to the guidance, to the quiet whispers from within. When you start focusing on your own growth, instead of scrolling through your social media feeds, you’ll notice that the answers you’re seeking are right here. They’ve always been here, within.
No one is either more or less than you, and you’re not more or less than anyone else. And I believe that’s what makes this life so fascinating; that we’re a bunch of humans, although somehow so alike, we have our different traits, up-bringings and weird quirks. We have our different struggles, things to heal and to let go of. If we only knew how much there’s to learn from one another, so much wisdom and clarity to gain from each other. Every human you’ve met thus far know you’ve met them for a reason. Although you’ve let people hurt you in the past, know that it was something you had to go through, in order to find yourself, in order to find your inner strength.
”We chase this self-made ideal on how life’s supposed to be, and if we fail, and don’t live up to our expectations, we judge ourselves.”
Not judging oneself is certainly easier said than done. As a matter of fact I think it’s deeply ingrained within us humans to judge and compare. We chase this self-made ideal on how life’s supposed to be, and if we fail and don’t live up to our expectations or other people’s expectations on us, we judge ourselves.
You most likely won’t stop judging yourself in a blink of an eye, especially if you’ve been judging yourself most of your adult years. Take it day by day, in your own good time. Start by noticing how you think and react in certain situations – become aware of how you’re judging other people, circumstances, as well as yourself. It all begins with self-awareness. Allow yourself to have feelings of judgment, in other words, don’t judge yourself for being judgmental. Accept and then consciously choose to let go. You don’t have to hold on to judgment – it’s a choice that only you can make.
The essence within not being judgmental towards Self, is acceptance of Self. Being able to forgive yourself for the choices you have made, choices that might not have been aligned with your core Self. Not accepting yourself for who you truly are is in fact one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Instead of moaning and talking down at yourself you should work on becoming better. If you notice something you don’t like about yourself, it’s your job to do something about it. Don’t be a victim of your circumstances, rather, embrace yourself, all of you – tap yourself on the shoulder when you’ve done something you’re proud of – don’t expect others to praise you, you go on and compliment yourself in an honest and humble manner. And if you mess up, you pick yourself up. Without judgment.