”The courage of letting go. Surrendering into the arms of the wild.”
As Eckhart Tolle so neatly puts it: ”Sometimes surrender means giving up from trying to understand, and becoming comfortable with not knowing.”
Life is about finding the balance between what you can control, and what you cannot. Sometimes surrendering is the breakthrough you need.
Let me tell you about a dream I had a couple of nights ago.
♦I had this cute white labrador puppy, but wasn’t he a pain in the butt. It was a complete struggle every time I had to take him out for a walk. It was like he did anything to get out from that leash; he didn’t appreciate to be told what to do, and neither did he wish to be controlled. Every walk was a fight to win. And eventually the leash broke. The thing with which I tried to control my puppy ultimately fell apart.♦
I’m usually not one of those that decipher my dreams, but I felt this one had something to teach me. As I went about my day the dream came back to me, and my inner voice, speaking loud and clear, ”Don’t be such a control freak, you can’t control everything, just allow it to be as it is.”
It’s usually fear about the future, not knowing what will happen, that keeps us holding on to everything there is to hold on to. Let’s take love as an example. You might find yourself in a relationship where you keep your partner ”leashed”, or in other words, you feel a need to control their every moves (or maybe they are the ones doing this to you). For example you/he/she might feel an immediate sense of jealousy when they/you are talking to another person. It’s like you want each other neatly kept in this safe-box, where everything is as it should be, and everything will be as it always been.
Or let’s say you have a dream of becoming a successful business owner, and therefore you’re doing everything it takes to ”make it”, however, nothing seems to go your way. Or not at least the way you prefer it to go.
Maybe it’s time to take a step back, and to look at your situation from an outside perspective – take the blindfolds off, and start looking with new eyes. Usually when we control things too much, it means that we’re afraid of losing them. And while this is completely normal, cause who wants to lose the things they hold dear to their heart, it can also be detrimental to the situation. Ultimately it might lead to everything falling apart.
If we let the ”puppy” run wild and free, and not controlling its every move, the ”puppy” will feel that it has our trust. We understand that if the ”puppy” wants to run, we will have to let it run (because we love the ”puppy” and we want the people/things we love to be as happy as they can be). And as it runs it will blossom, and evolve into the ”dog” it’s meant to become. This running ”phase”, doing its thing, is important for its growth and evolution. Eventually, it will become tired from running, it will have to stop, and take a breather. It will begin to search for its ”Master”, and happily, and more well-lived, he/she returns. Teaching his/her Master something new, challenging each other with their opinions and world views.
And don’t take this literally; I mean if you have a little puppy it’s rather important that you set some boundaries so it doesn’t run out in the woods and gets eaten by the big wolves. But I guess you know what I’m trying to say with this little dream of mine…
Surrendering, letting go and trusting within a relationship happens both ways. When both partners trust each other enough, they will let the other person go and search for his/her dreams, without being afraid of losing him/her. Being able to grow and evolve together is crucial for a flourishing relationship. And if a relationship do fall apart because of this, just look at it as something that eventually had to happen. Your own growth should always be on top of your priority list. If two people love each other unconditionally they will always find ways to work things through – it’s called compromising.
Surrendering, aka embracing the unknown, is something that can be of use in many areas of your life; this relationship metaphor was just an example.
Tip of the day; write down your dreams – look for the deeper meaning hidden underneath, and see what it’s trying to tell you. If you look close enough I bet you’ll find answers to your questions.