”Know your worth. Don’t ask for it – state it.”
In the end, it all comes down to self-worth. If you don’t believe that you’re worthy of neither success, love, abundance, compassion nor enjoying beautiful experiences it will be very difficult for you to attract any of these things into your life.
”Because of the continuous negative programing that we face in society, we focus on the bad and unpleasant things and project this negativity onto ourselves so often without even realizing it……… There is never a day that you are not worthy. Self-worth is not determined by anything; you don’t have to do anything to be worth it. You just are. (Mutiwasekwa, 2019)
To start with – Never, ever apologise for being your most authentic self.
When I was younger (and sometimes even today) certain kind of people often describe me as being sensitive. Like being sensitive would be something bad. Now I usually laugh if I get a comment like that. ”Yes, I’m a sensitive human being. And I embrace it, I embrace my vulnerability. And by the way you should try it; it might benefit you, helping you being more attuned with your feelings and emotions.” This is not meant to be a post about sensitivity and vulnerability, I just want to use it as an example as to demonstrate the importance of staying true to yourself – cause you’re worth it.
This sensitivity of mine enables me to tap into other peoples’ feelings, and makes it easier for me to put myself in another person’s shoes. It allows me to be more empathetic with others, as well as with myself. It allows me to be less judgmental towards others, as well as towards myself. In other words, this sensitivity of mine allows me to be more human. And I wouldn’t want to change it for the world.
Ok, with that being said, let’s go back to self-worth.
The day you decided that you’re not worthy was the day you chose to abandon yourself. You decided that your self-worth is something that is in the hands of other people – if someone rejected you, you thought that it has to do with you not being worthy, you not being good enough for that person. You chose to give your power to someone that is not meant to play with it – it’s an innate strength and force that no one else but you have power over. You possess that power, so don’t you ever give that away. Don’t you ever adandon yourself.
When you realise that you’re as worthy as anyone else on this planet, and that you too have the possibility to live life as you wish you start to grow better confidence – Suddenly you don’t feel the need to constantly compare yourself to others, and you don’t feel the urge to please others all the time.
How can you overcome feelings of low self-worth? And are there any particular habits to improve your self-worth?
Your biggest critic is usually yourself. Start noticing the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis. What kind of words are you using to describe yourself? Are they uplifting? Or do they make you feel even more miserable? Let the thoughts arise from your subconscious mind. Oftentimes we’re not even aware of how negatively we talk to and about ourselves. It’s like we’re operating on autopilot.
Keep a journal – write down all the negative thoughts you’re having at the moment, and start rewriting them. Transform the negatives into positives. For each negative thought you have about yourself come up with three positive ones. Write down what you’re thankful for, what you love about yourself and the things you’re good at. Accept the parts of you that you’re not proud of. Is there anything you can do to become better than the person you were yesterday? Focus on what you can do. Focus on what you already have, and how you can evolve and grow.
Keep on learning and dare to try new things. I’m a firm believer in learning something new on a daily basis. I genuinely have a love for learning, and I strongly believe it has assisted me towards becoming a more confident woman. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t say that we have to learn in order to gain recognition or validation from others, but to learn simply beacuse we want to learn. If you’re interested in a certain topic – do your research and allow yourself to dive right in.
Learn to speak up for yourself. While it’s very easy to go with the flow and play cool in order to not upset anyone, it’s very important that you learn how to speak up for yourself. If you don’t believe that you’re worthy of having an opinion, or being treated nicely and with respect, then unfortunately there will be those who will take advantage of that. You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Just because you have a different opinion or a different outlook on something doesn’t mean that you’re being rude – It’s just you being you, and owning it.
Learn to think for yourself, believe in your own ideas and values, and you will expand as a person.
Mutiwasekwa, S. (2019). Self-Love. You cannot love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Accessed from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-upside-things/201911/self-love