”Darling I know, some things take insane bravery. But after that you’ll be free.”
Fear is always about the next moment, not about what is happening right now. Fear is something yet to be, or something that does not exist. The fear is simply existing because you’re not living with life, you’re living with your mind.
I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately, and why it’s so common that we humans are so afraid of the unknown, afraid of taking risks and going after our dreams (at least I know I struggle with feelings like these more often than not, and I bet I’m not the only one). But the more I think about it, by letting fear take over we let our imagination run wild (in a negative sense). We focus on questions such as – what if I fail? And what if it works out, what then? These are questions that keep us stuck in our comfort zones, questions that prevent us from even trying. A question I like to ask myself instead is – what is worse then fear?And the answer is always regret. I strongly believe that the fear of not trying is greater than the fear of trying.
There are a few areas in life where I’m not afraid at all, and then there are areas in life where I know that improvements need to be made, in order for me to fully evolve, and to fully grow into the person I know deep down I can be. Baby steps, baby steps. We need to understand that each time we doubt ourselves we block ourselves from solutions and opportunities that can change our lives. Fear does nothing but harm our evolution.
Are you doing it to prove something, or to learn something?
Another great question to ask yourself when going after something is – are you doing it to prove something, or to learn something? When you do things to learn new things, and to learn more about yourself, you do it from a much more peaceful state of mind, compared to when you do it to prove something. When you solely do things to prove something, that is usually when you start to incorporate fear, and therefore start to compare yourself more and more to other people, and how they are doing things.
If you notice that you do things simply in order to prove yourself to someone try to change your mindset, and start to see challenges and transformation from a learning point of view. There’s no such thing as failure, cause when things don’t go according to plan we need to grasp the bigger meaning behind it; what is there to learn from this? If you look at your fears from a place of fear, then of course you will fill your entire being with more fear. Instead, start to look at your fears from a place of happiness. From a place of safety and love. I believe courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage simply means you don’t let fear stop you. You don’t let it stop you from living your dream. We’re on this planet to learn, and to grow; every situation can teach us something, if we let it.
So ask yourself – What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Who would you be if you weren’t afraid? By asking these questions regularly you might realize that you already live the life you always dreamed of living, you might realize that you already conquered all your fears. Great! Or, you might become aware of how you’re struggling with self-limiting beliefs, and how you always seem to doubt yourself, and your capability of achieving your dreams. Great! Whatever the outcome, by reflecting on where you’re standing at the moment, with regards to your fears, you’ll become more self-aware. And an important first step towards change, is to become self-aware.
”Fear does not stop death, it stops life.”
You feel the fear. You feel the doubt, the insecurity. Nevertheless, you know, deep down, that there’s something more important. Something inside you that has to come out. Whatever it might be, that something is a part of you. An important piece of you, and by ignoring it, you’re ignoring yourself. Darling, stop ignoring life, stop ignoring your most authentic self. Stop living in your mind, and start living here, right here, in this moment.
When it comes to myself I know that I need to stop fearing life. In regards to love I’ve always been rather up-front, and not afraid to speak my mind. If I feel love towards someone, or something, I will say it (nevertheless this might scare people away 😉 ) However, when it comes to my career, and me wanting to achieve certain goals in life, fear still has a tight grip around my neck. Yet, I’m at a point in life where I know that the more I fight fear, the worse it will become.
Rather, I think we need to learn to surrender to fear. We need to allow it to flow through us, we need to sit with these feelings of self-doubt and worry, and then, we need to recognize that it’s all in our heads, and then effortlessly let them go.
I do know the easy option is to wait until we are completely ready. However, it’s going to get to a point when we realize that someday is today; there’s no right time, simply excuses. Jump when you feel the need to, don’t let the fear of failure stop you. Cause in the end, it’s better to fail than to not try at all. And I reassure you, you will learn plenty on the way.