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How to get through difficult change

”Your eyes talk to me all the time. Totally unaware of your words, speaking their own, unique language.

 

I like that language.”

 

Change is inevitable, growth is optional. Whether or not it’s good change, bad change – change we create ourselves or change that we don’t have control over – both natural, and spontaneous changes will happen throughout your life. Don’t resist the seasons changing, since that only creates sadness and even more struggle, instead learn to flow with the current.

Letting things flow naturally is, however, easier said than done. It requires a great deal of patience and an eagerness to reclaim the power that might have been lost along the way. Last but not least, you should always remember not to be too hard on yourself. You’re only human after all.

”It’s not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”

– Charles Darwin

With this being said, below you’ll find a few life perspectives that hopefully can assist you when you find yourself stuck in the middle of a life changing situation;

Have faith

Trust the timing of your life. Understand that everything happens for a reason, whether the reason is for you to grow, to be open for new opportunities, or it might simply be a well needed wake up call. Trust that everything is working out for your good. Although it might not seem like it at the moment, a change is usually a start of something even better, a new beginning. Change is both painful and beautiful at the same time; do not fight it, instead use it to your advantage.

Acceptance

Acceptance is key. Even though the change is hard, try to grasp the reason behind it. When you finally get to the other side of change you will understand why it was necessary; why it had to take place. Sometimes we get so stuck at where we are that we completely lose focus and our ability to move forward. Usually, at times like that, change will happen, whether we like it or not. After a while you can see more clearly, and finally understand why it was doomed to happen. Since you weren’t able to make the change happen, it had to happen, with or without your consent.

Find the humor

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take life seriously, cause let’s face it; change can be hard, in fact it can be really tough. However, the human experience should be all about balance, meaning when you take a step back and begin to look at things with humor you take a bit of the heaviness off.

By all means, you’re allowed to grief; it’s necessary in order to heal, but you should also remember to find the good in your every day life, as to lighten yourself up.

Focus on solutions

To every problem there’s a solution. Always focus on the solutions, not the problems. If you’re boiling over with deeply strong emotions try using them to create something. In other words, take advantage of your feelings. Channel your emotions through writing, painting, exercising – anything that takes the pressure off, and makes you feel more as yourself again. Most often the most unique creations can come out of sadness, grief, loneliness and pain. Whatever you might be feeling; use those feelings to heal. Take it day by day, step by step – move forward in your own pace, and eventually you’ll blossom again. Oftentimes hard change lead to breakthroughs, and when you choose to stay open you might discover things about yourself you otherwise never would have noticed.

Face your fears

”The fears we don’t face become our limits.”

When you accept your fears, and start facing them, they will lose their power over you. To be amidst of a big life change can be very daunting, at least if you’re the one wanting to have complete control, however, the best thing you can do is surrender, and simply let things unfold naturally. Keep in mind that some things you just can’t control, and the more you try to, the messier it gets. The best thing you can do, is to let go, and go with the flow.

Not knowing what the future will hold can of course be real nerve-wracking, nevertheless, remember that with a little bit of hope, and plenty of faith everything will, eventually, work out for your best. Don’t let the fear of what could happen make nothing happen. Trust that everything will come to you in the right time – do your best to work on yourself, and strive for progression each and every day. And bare in mind, the tiniest progress is better than no progress at all. It’s within the present moment that our futures are created.

Darling, don’t fear change. Let it build you into a more powerful and confident human being.

Linda

What 2019 taught me

”Embrace the unknown, for that is what will help you grow.”

 

With 2020 just around the corner it’s the most perfect time to put an afternoon aside, to brew yourself a big warm mug of coffee, and reflect over the past year, and the most important lessons you’ve learned. 

I’m a firm believer in writing my intentions, goals and dreams down, preferably on a piece of paper. I guess I am more of a dreamer/planner than a doer. However, my intentions for 2019 was all about taking action and believing in myself and my abilities. Setting intentions not only makes it easier to stay focused, but it helps to keep the motivation up, as well as staying more grounded and closer to one’s core self.

And while I strongly recommend all of you to start writing down your intentions, I also think it’s of great advantage to reflect over the past year, and therefore gain better clarity of the things you’ve learned thus far. As I was reading through my intentions for 2019 I noticed that they go hand in hand with what I’ve learned, and hence I decided to review them as well.

Below you’ll find some of the most important things that 2019 taught me (including the intentions I set for myself in the beginning of the year).

 

What 2019 taught me

”There’s an abundance flowing within and without; everything I need, seek and long for is already resting within.”

Spreading kindness & compassion – I’ll strive my best to show loving kindness to all living beings; animals, humans and the planet. I’m inspired by random acts of kindness and compassionate people with big hearts filled with wisdom. There’s something special about humans who are caring and warmhearted to everyone; it seems like they are carrying a sense of calmness within, despite with whoever they interact.

I’ve learned not to be too hard on myself – to not judge myself for past mistakes, but rather, to redirect my focus towards the possibilities that might arise instead. Setbacks and road bumps actually teach us a lot about life and ourselves. As we move through challenges we get to know the depth about being human. Things not always going as planned can be a great chance to start all over, to create new opportunities in life.

And while I’ve learned not to judge myself, I’ve also become less judgmental towards other people as well. Try not to take anything another person says or does personally. We humans are rather occupied by our own defects and shortcomings, and they might surely come forth when using our tongue. And do keep in mind, happy and peaceful people don’t walk around destroying other people’s lives. Therefore, be kind to the unkind. You have no idea what shoes they’re walking in.

– I’ve learned that healing is far from linear, rather it’s an ongoing process. Some days you feel on-top-of-the-world, and the next day it feels like you’re back on square one. Nevertheless, don’t let it drag you down. Know that this too is part of the process – stay patient with yourself. Evolving and transforming sometimes requires a great deal of work; and you need to actively be putting in the effort.

Planting confidence – being confident without being cocky is very attractive. We’re capable of achieving way more than we give ourselves permission to pursue. Persistence is key here, and a willingness to work hard for what you want in life.

I’ve learned to be more patient with myself. Nothing good comes out of stressing about the things over which we have no control. By being more mindful and present in what I do I’ve learned to flow with it – whether it’s writing, studying, working, being in nature, meditating or speaking with friends and family.  I can always choose to be a bit more here and a little less somewhere else.

I’ve learned to not listen to everything I tell myself. We’re feeding ourselves with thousands of thoughts each and every day, therefore, choose them thoughts wisely. The first step in order to change negative thought patterns, or limiting beliefs is to become aware of them. Start listening to the voice inside your head. What does it tell you? Once you learn to recognize and identify these thought patterns you can start to have a choice about how to react, and with time consciously make a choice to let them go.

If something bad happened to you in the past it’s very easy to keep the negative emotion connected to that particular event alive by compulsive thinking. You start to see yourself as the victim. However, dwelling on the past won’t do you any good; it will only contaminate your present and affect your current state of being in a negative way. Most importantly, it will take you further away from appreciating the beauty and aliveness of the present moment.

I’ve learned that when I accept my fears, and start facing them, they will, slowly but surely, lose their power over me. To be in the middle of a big life change can be very daunting, at least if you’re a control freak (like me), however, the best thing you can do is surrender, and simply let things unfold naturally. Keep in mind that some things you just can’t control, and the more you try to, the messier it gets. The best thing you can do, is to let go, and go with the flow.


Embracing my sensitivity
– as a highly sensitive person I’m very sensitive to the people around me and their energies. I also feel a whole range of emotions, and it’s nothing wrong with that – as a matter of fact it’s completely normal and healthy to be able to tap into one’s feelings. Nonetheless, I’ve also become to realize the importance of not holding on to emotions for too long; I simply let them pass through me, and then peacefully let them go when they have done their job. Feelings like fear, worry and doubt don’t serve us in any way, and it’s about time we let go of them once and for all. While embracing my emotions I’ve become more self-aware, and more in tune with my inner state of being.

I’ve become to understand that within vulnerable lies strength. To be able to speak your truth is the most powerful way of self-expression;  I believe there’s a sense of freedom in being honest and raw; Start by being true to yourself, and not being afraid to show your most authentic self. We help others, by first helping ourselves.

I’ve learned that strong emotions can be used in order to create something beautiful. In other words, take advantage of your feelings. Channel your emotions through writing, painting, exercising – anything that takes the pressure off, and makes you feel more as yourself again. Most often the most unique creations can come out of sadness, grief, loneliness and pain. Whatever you might be feeling; use those feelings to heal. Take it day by day, step by step – move forward in your own pace, and eventually you’ll blossom again. Oftentimes hard change lead to breakthroughs, and when you choose to stay open you might discover things about yourself you otherwise never would have noticed.


Nurturing my intuition
– I’ve always had a strong intuition, and I would like to cultivate it even more. I’ve noticed that the more I meditate, taking time to really listen to my body and the stillness within, the more I feel connected to my inner voice; my inner guidance system so to speak. It gives a sense of power when you notice you can trust your intuition. I think all people have an inner voice waiting for them to listen carefully, however not everyone is ready to listen to what it has to say. I challenge you to pay attention to your intuition. Trust that you have all the answers within; you possess more power than you think, darling.

I’ve learned that the more I slow down, and take time to unwind, the better I can hear my inner voice. Slow living is the new living in 2020, simply cause some things are not meant to be rushed.

Light a candle and just sit for a while. Let the stillness speak. Be aware of the silence, of what’s happening within you. Relax, and let go of your worries; yesterday’s sorrows and tomorrow’s to-do’s. Count your breaths. Count your blessings. Learn to appreciate the moments when you’re doing absolutely nothing. If you listen carefully you’ll hear those whispers from deep within. Don’t ignore them. Pay attention, and take it all in.


Tapping into my spiritual side 
– I’m an open-minded person and I love to explore different parts of myself. After cultivating my spiritual side a bit more I’ve become to understand how calm and peaceful it makes me feel. I’ve become more content and hopeful. I truly believe we’re spiritual beings having a human experience. I also believe that there’s so much more to life than the things we can experience through our five senses. Understanding that we’re all in this together, however, experiencing life in our own unique way, makes me feel at peace.

I’ve learned that deep soul connections are gems that should be nurtured and taken care of. There are people with whom we form an instant connection; whether it’s a co-worker, a stranger at the bar, the person at the library, the gym or the internet. We meet new people everyday, yet there are certain gems we simply cannot forget. These are the people we need to hold on to; people that understands us, speaks the same soul language as us, that challenges us and helps us evolve.

Linda

How to become the best version of yourself

I went through some old blog posts from 2019, and found this one – one which the readers clicked on the most.

”Be the sort of person you would admire.”

You are a different person to different people. Annoying to some. Talented to another. Kind to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who are you, to you? What does the best version of yourself look like? Being the best version of yourself needs to start with you, it needs to come from within. Other people will always have expectations from you, however, only you decide who you truly are. 

1. Take your power back

 

To change your life, you have to change yourself. To change yourself, you have to change your mindset. It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you – if you allow it. Trust that you have what it takes, the power is found within you.

You won’t become powerful through another person, getting a promotion or having excess money in your bank account. While these things might make you feel powerful, they won’t make you powerful. Cultivating self-confidence, as well as a deep trust within yourself while embracing a positive mindset, that my dear, will make you powerful. And don’t forget to sprinkle plenty of kindness and compassion on top of it all, and you’re good to go.

 

2. Strive for progression

 

Get comfortable with feeling challenged, cause it means you’re growing. Humans need to be challenged in order to not become stagnant. We’ve all been beginners at some point in our lives, but if you choose to constantly advance and move forward you’ll, after some time, notice remarkable improvements. It won’t happen over night, but giving up is not an option. I remember when I decided to start writing my blog in English, it made me feel a bit hesitant at first. However, after several months of writing I’ve noticed big improvements in my writing skills. Of course there’re still advancements to be made, but I’m making progress each and every day.

As humans we are never fully completed. I think if we come to terms with that statement life will become less intimidating. Less heavy, and more lighthearted. We don’t have to have all the answers, as long as we have that intense yearning to know more about ourselves, others and life. In plain English – a deep desire to experience life. You’re an evolving human being; constantly travelling through phases, through seasons, just so you can rise in full bloom.

 

3. Show kindness

”Be kind. It feels better.”

As humans we can choose to be a lot of different things. Nonetheless, the more I think about it I feel that one of the traits I consider as one of the most valuable is being kind. Other people will unquestionably remember if you’ve treated them well or not. How we choose to treat others says a lot about ourselves. Be someone people look up to. Give to others and help them be the best version of themselves too. At times it might be clever to be a bit selfish (don’t let yourself be manipulated by fools), however, you don’t have to be obnoxious to be successful. Be kind, always.

 

4. Follow your intuition

 

Listen to your inner voice. Quiet down the mental chatter, and start to observe. Your life needs to be your vision and no one else’s. It’s easy to get caught up in other people’s lives, and comparing oneself to other people’s success. You might listen too much to what your parents, friends and loved ones think you should do, or can do. This is usually detrimental to your own progression. Start focusing on what you have to offer to the world; what are your unique talents? How do you wish to live your life?

Don’t let the outside noise distract you – take time to pause, and to reflect. Trust yourself, and know, that the answers you’re seeking is found within. You’re more powerful than you might think. You have a powerful inner voice; learn to listen to it. Embrace your intuition, your heart. That inner wisdom of yours is forceful; learn to use it to your advantage.

 

5. Learn from your mistakes

 

Mistakes shouldn’t be regarded as merely mistakes. Instead they should be considered as obstacles making us become better, enhancing as human beings. They’re barriers, helping us grow and improve ourselves. Without mistakes you wouldn’t grow. Nevertheless, this means you need to become self-aware. You need to be self-conscious, and realize when you’ve made a mistake; otherwise you’ll never grow. You’ll keep on making the same mistake, over and over again, until you grasp the meaning behind it. Self-awareness = power.

 

Linda

Self-care December

”We can never run out of love. It’s in the air we are breathing.”

For most of us Christmas is a time of fellowship, joy and happiness. It’s a time when family get-togethers are more frequent, gifts and laughter are shared among loved ones, and eating a bit too much is part of the festivity. However, for a growing number of people the situation is completely different. 

”It’s Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid. At Christmas time we let in light and we banish shade.”

– Do they know it’s Christmas, Band Aid -84

The number of people, who live in poverty, suffer from addiction or loneliness, are increasing world-wide. A problem we simply cannot ignore, since its transparency in our society is getting more and more evident. The question remains – what can we do about it? How should, and can we address these problems? The answers might vary, of course, but I believe that each and every one of us have a responsibility – and that first tiny step you need to take is to start with yourself. Is there anything you can do, right now, to make another person’s life a little more pleasant? And what can you do to make your own life a little more liveable?

I read somewhere (can’t remember where) that besides every country having their own flag, human beings should have a combined earth flag, since, we’re all in this together.

If you have the means to help people less fortunate, use them. Use them, to their advantage. How small of a task it might seem to you, it might end up being a tremendous support for a person in need.

Self-love

”By giving others a helping hand, you’re helping yourself. And by healing yourself, you’re healing others.”

Everything in life is connected. You, me, the trees, the stars, our thoughts, our actions, life-death-life; the circle of life wouldn’t be complete without any of it. We need the darkness, in order to experience the light. We need the hardships, to truly be thankful for the security. Yin and yang. The Sun, and the Moon. The summer, and the winter. We need all of it.

One way to begin is to start by giving more than what you expect in return. Give, without expecting anything in return. Just give, out of pure sincerity, out of pure love.

It all starts with you. You start by giving to yourself – you take care of yourself, you take care of your ”home”, your inner sanctuary. You feed and nurture yourself, daily, with love and care. You know that you’re worthy of being here, of having a voice. When you start to see your own beauty, when you stop judging yourself, that is when you start to see the beauty within others, without judging them.

It might feel difficult at first, but still – face your shit. Face your demons, face your pain. If I’ve ever said something hurtful to another person (yet, I don’t think of myself as a person walking around spreading pain, but still I’m human, we all have our days…) it has usually stemmed from me not facing my own share of discomfort, and therefore, lashing out at an innocent human. This is normal, this is part of being human. However, being in pain doesn’t give you the right to treat others in a dreadful manner. Thus, the importance of always glancing within.

Choose love over fear

”The outside distress is a reflection of the distress happening within.”

This vast universe is our playground. How do you wish to perform, to show up? Do you wish to live with fear and doubt, or with love and openness? Your choice. There are plenty of misery in this world, you just have to put on the news or take a few steps down your street, depending on where you live on this planet, to recognize that it’s not all sunshine and butterflies. Nevertheless, there are also plenty of hopefulness, plenty of love, but somehow those things don’t attract the news producers that often.

We need to aim at these difficulties from the right angle.

You can’t fight the fear, by being fearful. You can’t fight the darkness, by feeding it more darkness. You can’t fight ignorance, by being more ignorant. You can’t fight the wars of this planet, by producing more wars. You just can’t.

As I already mentioned, we need to start with ourselves. Don’t you dare blame anyone else if you haven’t taken a good look at yourself in the mirror. Just don’t. And by this I don’t mean that you need to be so hard on yourself; just embrace who you are – the good and the bad. None of us is perfect, and none of us will ever be perfect.

But, when we begin to open ourselves up to the different ways of experiencing life – by being more humble, receiving new insights and by being less judgmental – I truly believe we can start to create a little more peaceful home, for all of us. The outside distress is a reflection of the distress happening within, and vice versa. Remember, it’s all connected.

However, slowly but surely we can try to change the outside world. It all stems from within. You fight the fear by being more loving. You fight the darkness, by being the light. You fight the ignorance, by practising your inner wisdom. You fight the wars, by being at peace. Within.

Self-care December might start with you, but wait and see, it might have a forceful impact on the world around you as well.

Let it spread like wildfire.

Linda

Surrendering into the arms of the wild

”The courage of letting go. Surrendering into the arms of the wild.”

As Eckhart Tolle so neatly puts it: ”Sometimes surrender means giving up from trying to understand, and becoming comfortable with not knowing.”

Life is about finding the balance between what you can control, and what you cannot. Sometimes surrendering is the breakthrough you need.

Let me tell you about a dream I had a couple of nights ago. 

♦I had this cute white labrador puppy, but wasn’t he a pain in the butt. It was a complete struggle every time I had to take him out for a walk. It was like he did anything to get out from that leash; he didn’t appreciate to be told what to do, and neither did he wish to be controlled. Every walk was a fight to win. And eventually the leash broke. The thing with which I tried to control my puppy ultimately fell apart.♦

I’m usually not one of those that decipher my dreams, but I felt this one had something to teach me. As I went about my day the dream came back to me, and my inner voice, speaking loud and clear, ”Don’t be such a control freak, you can’t control everything, just allow it to be as it is.”

It’s usually fear about the future, not knowing what will happen, that keeps us holding on to everything there is to hold on to. Let’s take love as an example. You might find yourself in a relationship where you keep your partner ”leashed”, or in other words, you feel a need to control their every moves (or maybe they are the ones doing this to you). For example you/he/she might feel an immediate sense of jealousy when they/you are talking to another person. It’s like you want each other neatly kept in this safe-box, where everything is as it should be, and everything will be as it always been.

Or let’s say you have a dream of becoming a successful business owner, and therefore you’re doing everything it takes to ”make it”, however, nothing seems to go your way. Or not at least the way you prefer it to go.

Maybe it’s time to take a step back, and to look at your situation from an outside perspective – take the blindfolds off, and start looking with new eyes. Usually when we control things too much, it means that we’re afraid of losing them. And while this is completely normal, cause who wants to lose the things they hold dear to their heart, it can also be detrimental to the situation. Ultimately it might lead to everything falling apart.

If we let the ”puppy” run wild and free, and not controlling its every move, the ”puppy” will feel that it has our trust. We understand that if the ”puppy” wants to run, we will have to let it run (because we love the ”puppy” and we want the people/things we love to be as happy as they can be). And as it runs it will blossom, and evolve into the ”dog” it’s meant to become. This running ”phase”, doing its thing, is important for its growth and evolution. Eventually, it will become tired from running, it will have to stop, and take a breather. It will begin to search for its ”Master”, and happily, and more well-lived, he/she returns. Teaching his/her Master something new, challenging each other with their opinions and world views.

And don’t take this literally; I mean if you have a little puppy it’s rather important that you set some boundaries so it doesn’t run out in the woods and gets eaten by the big wolves. But I guess you know what I’m trying to say with this little dream of mine… 

Surrendering, letting go and trusting within a relationship happens both ways. When both partners trust each other enough, they will let the other person go and search for his/her dreams, without being afraid of losing him/her. Being able to grow and evolve together is crucial for a flourishing relationship. And if a relationship do fall apart because of this, just look at it as something that eventually had to happen. Your own growth should always be on top of your priority list. If two people love each other unconditionally they will always find ways to work things through – it’s called compromising.

Surrendering, aka embracing the unknown, is something that can be of use in many areas of your life; this relationship metaphor was just an example.

 

Tip of the day; write down your dreams – look for the deeper meaning hidden underneath, and see what it’s trying to tell you. If you look close enough I bet you’ll find answers to your questions.

With love,

Linda

Be less judgmental

”It all starts with you.”

No one in this world is pure and perfect, not even Nature. If you avoid people for their shortcomings, you will most certainly be alone in this world. So try to judge less, and love more. Surround yourself with people who understand. People who lift you up. We rise by lifting others. 

People who aren’t quick to judge – those gems, exactly my cup of tea. You can vent to them, and labeling you will be the last thing on their mind. They do not believe rumors because they know there are two sides to every story. They give you a chance before they judge you. They get to know who you really are, then form an opinion.

However, people are usually rather judgmental, towards themselves, others and situations, without even thinking about it.

If you know that you’re a pretty judgemental person, try to challenge yourself to change your mindset. Little by little, watch how being less judgmental will create a more positive outcome; within both your inner and outer world. You will most likely create healthier relationships (with others as well as with yourself), while cultivating curiosity, and by being more open-minded. Others might even regard you as comforting and trustworthy. You never know what might happen 😉

Don’t judge yourself

”What is love? Love is the absence of judgement.”

It all starts with you.

Don’t compare yourself to others, cause how can you? You’re not them, and they are not you. No one is either more or less than you, and you’re not more or less than anyone else. Isn’t that what makes this life so compelling? That we’re a bunch of humans, although somehow so alike, we have our different traits, up-bringings and weird quirks. We have our different struggles, things to heal and to let go of. If we only knew how much there’s to learn from one another, so much wisdom and clarity to gain from each other. Every human you’ve met thus far know that you’ve met them for a reason. Although you’ve let people hurt you in the past, know that it was something you had to go through, in order to find yourself, in order to find your inner strength.

Self-love hasn’t always been a priority in my life, and therefore, I’ve had some hard lessons to learn, in order to finally see my own worth. It’s not narcissistic to love oneself, to take care of oneself. It’s necessary in order to grow and evolve as a human being. And so, stop judging yourself for your wrong-doings, past mistakes and things not working out the way you hoped.

If your wish is to help and inspire other humans, then start by being true to yourself, and not being afraid to show your most authentic self. We help others, by first helping ourselves.

Don’t judge others

”Judging a person doesn’t define who they are, it defines who you are.”

To start with, don’t take things personally.

”Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It’s because of themselves.”
– Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Now when we’ve put that on the table it might be a bit easier not to take everything so personally; we humans are rather occupied by our own defects and shortcomings, and they might surely come forth when using our tongue.

However, this is by no means uncomplicated. It takes a lot of self-love and courage to see things with an open-heart and to be big-hearted and altruistic, no matter what the circumstances are. Of course you need to stand up for yourself, you need to be treated with respect, love and kindness. All people should be treated that way. Unfortunately we don’t live in a pink, candy cotton, butterflies flying everywhere golden wonderland. Life is just life, and well I guess, life is harsh, from time to time. We should begin to treat it with way more dignity and respect. We should treat our fellow humans with way more dignity and respect as well.

And remember, happy and peaceful people don’t walk around destroying other people’s lives. Therefore, be kind to the unkind. You have no idea what shoes they’re walking in.

Don’t judge the moment

”Be curious, not judgmental.”

This is the door to all that is. Celebrate the moment, and awaken to the flashes unfolding.

The present – the only moment there is for us to be alive. Humans are very good at preparing to live, but not very good a living. Habitually dwelling in the past and dreaming of the future, while having difficulties concentrating the mind on the present moment. Wherever you are – know that you are home. Wherever you find yourself; whether you’re stuck in a rut, anxious, or simply lost in the fast spinning outside world – whatever the present moment contains – accept, then act. Always work with life, not against life. Don’t feel like life is controlling you, you are controlling life. And yes, life will hit you (it might even hit you hard), but know that you’ll never grow with the perfect life.

The moment you begin to evaluate and criticize the situation you’re in, the thoughts flowing within your mind, or even the way you’re breathing, the judging perfectionist has arrived. The judging perfectionist that believes that a present moment experience is supposed to be a blissed-out Zen experience filled with peace and light. And let’s face it, it’s not always like that.

Isn’t it our job to find peace amidst of it all?

”Sometimes, the Universe does not allow us to move forward, until we have honored where we are right know.”

But how is it even possible to stay patient and calm in a world that’s constantly changing? To stay satisfied with what is, when the mind is obsessed with living in the past or worrying about the future? It’s like it does anything just to escape the now.

”I don’t want to be here, I need to get to there.” ”When I find that perfect partner, that perfect job, earn loads of money and become successful, then I’ll be happy.” ”I’m not satisfied with where I am, I need to have more, be more; then my life will be fulfilled.”

The ego will never be fulfilled; no matter how much recognition, power or success it receives the ego will always crave more.

The ego doesn’t thrive by being in the present. However, the present moment is all there ever is and ever will be; when something happens, it always happens now. Nothing ever happens in the future, it happens in the moment.

It’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve goals, or visualizing a life filled with abundance, prosperity, love and happiness. Most likely these wonderful, external things will bring a great deal of joy and happiness into your life, but for the most part it’s a short-lived kind of happiness. After a while the ego eventually gets bored, unsatisfied, and starts craving more of that external success.

In other words, achieving external success isn’t the root to your happiness. Constantly pleasing others, and thereby forgetting about your own wants and needs, isn’t a life well lived. Defining your worth according to how others treat you, isn’t going to make you feel more desirable. People may adore you, or they may dislike you, either way it shouldn’t affect you, since, in the end what you think about yourself is the only thing that matter. Of course it will hurt if you get abandoned, rejected or replaced. Despite the amount of pain you’re feeling, know that none of these circumstances will make you less worthy. Whether you didn’t get that promotion or you were replaced by another lover, you should never let it affect your inner happiness.

It’s easy, and very human, to fall into negative self-talk whenever something bad happens in life. Self-pity parties might feel okay at first, but in the end, feeling sorry for yourself won’t make you feel any better. Adopting a more positive way of thinking is a first step towards a more solid kind of happiness;

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Maybe you didn’t get that promotion simply because there’s a much better option waiting for you? Why not trust the unfolding of your life? Why not accept and embrace this moment?

How does one discover an inner, true form of happiness?

By being present.

And by not judging everything as good or bad all the time. Let things be, just as they are. Accept them, just as they are.

What is more, the present moment experience is the most healing state there is. Old emotions stored deep down in the body; whether it’s grief, anger, sadness or pain, need to be released out of our systems. Unprocessed emotions can show up in different forms, such as a disease, judgement towards people we don’t know, or as an addiction. They might even hold us back from evolving, hence keeping us stuck.

And remember; be kind to yourself. You most likely won’t stop judging yourself, others or situations in a blink of an eye. It might take time, however, try to become more aware of how you’re judging other people, or circumstances. How you’re judging yourself. It all starts with you.

Linda

Invest in rest

”Your job is to find peace amidst of it all.”

End of fall, beginning of winter, is a tremendous season to unwind, to restore your soul. Just as nature’s slowing down, taking a step back, and allowing the cold to embrace her, you have the opportunity to pause, to reflect. To sit within the stillness, counting your breaths, surrendering, to the flow of life. The heart speaks in silent ways. Listen. 

For me November has always been a month when I feel the need to pause. It’s like my entire soul needs a break. A break from anything draining her. Nevertheless, dark months like these I love the more peaceful hours; it’s usually when I come alive. The more stillness surrounding me, the more harmonious I become. And the more harmonious I become, the easier it is for new thoughts and ideas to enter.

Below you’ll find some of my favorite ways to unwind, and to refill my body, mind & soul with new energy.

How to replenish & unwind

 

Meditate

It’s not the minutes that count; it’s what you take with you after you’ve been sitting in silence – patience, alertness and a greater awareness. Meditation is not sitting with no thought – it’s letting the thoughts pass by, no dwelling, simply being aware. It’s the perfect way to practise slow breathing. Going within, and trusting oneself.

”Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).”

– James Baraz

Let your creativity flow

Whatever floats your boat – dive right in. When you’re enjoying what you’re doing you easily reach that so called flow state. A state of being when time passes by without you even noticing. A state of being when you’re your most creative self. A state of being when you’re guided by your inner voice. A state of being that can only be described by the words pure bliss. Find your happy, and do it often.

Clean & organize your mind

Cleaning your home, aka your mind & body, is an excellent way of getting rid of limiting beliefs and self-doubt, as well as negative thoughts that might hold you back from reaching your true potential.

Before starting your cleaning you’ll have to become aware of what’s holding you back. Are you always comparing yourself to others? Not thinking you’re worthy of all the abundance that life has to offer? Do you have problems forgiving yourself for past behaviours? Do you have problems forgiving someone else? Or do you simply feed your mind with negative self-talk morning to evening?

Take your time to figure out what it is that you struggle with the most; the things you need to get rid of in order to blossom like an early spring day. This can be done through seeking solitude and writing down the habits/thoughts you want to release from your ”home”. These habits/thoughts are things that do not serve you in any way.

When accepting the present moment for what it is, and detaching from the future, you not only make room for new and fresh possibilities, but for creativity and freedom. It’s very common to seek security and certainty, but when taking a closer look it’s actually an attachment to the known, aka the past. There’s no room for evolution in a mindset like that, only stagnation. So while you’re cleaning your old thought systems you’re expanding and growing your mind, making space for new creative thoughts to enter. And remember, within uncertainty lies freedom, a limitless number of possibilities and imagination.

Journal

One of the best ways to become more self-aware is to journal. The more aware you are of your thoughts, and how they affect you, the more you realize just how powerful they are. Thoughts can completely turn a day around. They can turn a life around. Redirecting your thoughts, choosing more positive ones, when facing a negative situation can help you see the situation in new daylight. The understanding that no one can change your thoughts but you, should be enough for you to jump over to the drivers seat. You control your thoughts – don’t let them control you. However, you should never neglect your feelings, your emotions.

Let your thoughts and emotions flow through you by writing them down. Don’t surpress the negativity, don’t let it build a nest within you – let the feels out. Know that you are simply experiencing emotions. They shall pass, as they too are temporarily.

Move your body

Being physically active is important for both the mind & the body. Feeling stuck and unmotivated? Chase those endorphins. A sweaty workout has many health benefits, not only does it affect your body, building up your cardiovascular health and slowing down your ageing, but your headspace will feel much clearer as well. When you’ve crushed out a great workout you’re ready to crush out even more things during the day – to accomplish the tasks you’ve at hand, getting more productive. Soon you’ll notice that your body and mind will start to work with you, rather than against you.

Connect with nature

There’s a special thing being one with nature, whether it’s watching the ocean, smelling the forest, hiking in the autumn mountains, taking a midnight swim or laughing up in the air. Nature has a tendency to teach us plenty; she teaches us how to be still, how to unwind and relax. Stay alert, and witness the beauty she so effortlessly provides us with. Let her guide you home. Escaping the real world for a couple of hours, or even days, might boost your creativity and feed it with new flourishing insights.

Know thy self

As soon as we let go of the need of controlling what happens in life things will unfold as they are meant to unfold. Challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power lies. Use the now to truly get to know yourself. Life is not always sunshine and butterflies, and how boring that would be. Setbacks, road bumps and things not happening as fast as you’d imagined is life’s way of presenting us with challenges, not to hurt us, but to guide us in the right direction. Sometimes life has a funny way of teaching us lessons.

If you’re going through a rough time right now, just know that it will be alright. Even if the clouds are heavy the sun is still there, underneath, it just took a nap. Eventually the sun will shine again. It always does. Just like life’s always working with you, not against you.

There’re plenty of things to do in order to become more present, more alive and replenished. You just have to find what works for you. Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and have trust, deep within, that everything will be alright.

Linda

Pure intentions

”Choose authenticity and your life will begin to change.”

Like a loyal friend you return, each and every year, dear autumn, dear fall. However, every time you bring something new, something unique. Oaks dressed in crimson, leaves in brightest red. And I’ve learned to trust that there’s nothing more to dread, about things once said. 

You stir me, make me question every thought, every action. The way you always manage to keep it fresh and wild, darling fall child. You steady me, make me feel at peace, at home. Yet, eventually you’ll leave, making room for the cold, whilst the whitest snow turning into gold.

Blissful laughters in the wind; You’re still alive. Act like it. Everything falling into place, even though everything seems to be falling to pieces, leaves melting to the ground, capitulating in the arms of winter. We endure the fire, the wind and the waves. Travelling within seasons, eventually finding our way.

With every dawn we have the opportunity to change our todays, as well as our tomorrows. We start by changing how we feel. We learn how to choose happiness, laughter and bravery. We learn how to trust love. It’s never too late. Plot twist. Just as the sun brings the daylight, and just as the moon illuminates the world when it’s dark, your presence lingers within every human you once touched with your heart.

We learn how to stop complaining, how to stop criticising and finding faults within other people, as well as within ourselves. We focus on things that make us grow, things that make our fellow humans grow. Within pure intention lies inspiration. Evolution and self-mastery. What we choose right now matters. It’s the one thing that determines the next step, and the next, and the next. One moment at a time. Speak to strangers, speak to the stars. Learn a language, learn to laugh. Learn to love. Love yourself.

We belong to the seasons, they do not belong to us. As we’re allowed to play with nature’s beauty, treasure her transformations, her letting go and becoming, we’re never allowed to take her compassionate spirit for granted. Whenever she whishes, she can choose to disappear, leave us, with nothing but lifeless trees, and crying flowers. Let her crimson sunsets nourish you, let her wild ocean replenish you, let her bravery inspire you. Open your eyes to the beauty within, red leaves falling, dark nights ascending. It’s always darkest before dawn.

And if you think her november rain is too heavy, you don’t deserve her blossoming trees early April. She’s a once in a lifetime season, paving the way for the winter, and eventually the spring. This cycle of life, this cycle of you, beautifully entwined, while moving towards the summer, perfectly aligned.

Linda