Senaste inläggen

I am not from here

Publicerat av

I love humans. I really do think they are rather amusing. But why so serious? Why so fearful of the unknown? Always complaining about being deprived, while deeply unaware they’re sitting on an enormous treasure chest. Being utmost beautiful, while screaming at their mirror, pointing out unnoticeable shortcomings.

What do you know, you might ask. Yes, what do I actually know, not being from here.

But you see, I live here. 40+ years I’ve been curiously interacting, more often observing, this strange earthly behaviour. There are so many questions arising in my chest. I seem to have lost the answers. Could I please ask you to help me find them?

The other day I heard this intelligent and attractive woman complaining. It seemed that everything was wrong in her life, and she kept on blaming herself for every decision she’d made. Another man was yelling at his children to hurry up, they had somewhere important they had to be. – What is more important than where you are right now, I thought. And then there were this couple. They were having dinner at this trendy restaurant (Instagram friendly, I heard the woman whisper to the man when they came in). They kept on taking pictures of their food (I stopped counting after 20 pictures). The food was cold and they started making a fuss about it. The waiter came, helpless. During their dinner the couple hardly made any eye contact. Nose in their phones.

One thing that keeps surprising me is all this focus on either the future or the past. Or this waiting for the perfect time. I lost count on how many times I’ve heard ”I will do it when…” – When? When exactly will you do it? I ask. No answer.

And then they start to come – the ”I should haves”. Usually these regrets are filled with words such as: It’s my mother’s fault I’m this way. If my kindergarten teacher would not have laughed at my drawing that time I was 5 I would be a famous artist by now. My girlfriend cheated on me. My boss is toxic. The weather is miserable.

No, it’s not the weather that is miserable. It’s your thoughts about the weather that are miserable, I silently shout. No one notices.

I am not from here, but I love it here.

I hope you see how absolutely gorgeous you are. I hope you comfort your children and tell them how enough they are. I hope you tell your partner how much you appreciate them. I hope you quit your job, cause there is one more aligned waiting for you. I hope you call her. I hope you visit that new café in town. I hope you write that letter. Attend that audition. Speak up. Dress up.

I am not from here, but I do, I really do.
Love it here.
I hope you too.

A love letter to a past life

Publicerat av

Italy has always had a special place in my heart. Ever since that first time in high school when I decided to take a beginner’s course in Italian, I knew there was a special bond between the country and me.

Fast forward 20 years and I find myself in Venice with a man I have never met before. And no, he was not a complete stranger to me; we’d had online contact about 4 months before we decided to meet up in Venice. I believe the city was his choice. Or, if I remember it correctly we made a list of possible cities to meet in, and Venice was on his list. I did not oppose, of course – let’s meet in Venice! So, I flew from my country, and he flew from his country. What am I doing, I thought to myself. I don’t even know how he smells!

To get from the airport I had to travel by ferry to reach Venice. It was late evening and I had booked a hotel on the nearby island Burano for my first night. The foggy canals were quiet yet welcoming. I slept like a baby and woke up at dawn.

The familiarity only grew when I arrived in Venice — that strange sensation of being somewhere new, yet feeling as if I already knew every corner. I can’t recall the streets being crowded. Mid August, and I didn’t notice the stressed out tourists, I only heard forgotten secrets lingering in every corner.

And the man? Yes, the man… He showed up looking as handsome as he’d seemed online. If you can call a man beautiful, then I would call him beautiful. Yet he complicated reality by arriving in a form I didn’t think existed outside fiction. Disney Princes do exist beyond the movies, I thought. The way he looked at the city made me stop looking at it and watch him instead. He had this calm, careful way of taking things in, but there was always a bit of a storm behind his eyes.

I experienced this deep nostalgia for a place I’d never visited before. The narrow alleys and piazzas felt as if they whispered secrets from a past I had forgotten I’d lived. It was as if I had run along those streets and bridges, touched the buildings, leaned out from a small window and fallen asleep to the city’s late-evening sounds. And when the rain started to fall, the city became even more captivating. It drifted through the alleys and nudged us closer, clinging to our hair and clothes, shimmering as if the city had scattered tiny sparks instead of water.

For nearly a year after the trip, every time I meditated I found myself back in the arms of Venice. The first time it happened, it caught me off guard. There was always the same piazza — the one I kept returning to. I could see myself on a wooden bench beneath an olive tree, reading. It was a memory I’d never lived, yet somehow my soul recognized it.

I don’t know if he sensed the same alluring magic that seemed to control every street corner. I don’t know if he heard the walls hinting at secrets from a past life. I never asked him. I don’t think he would have laughed at me for asking (he would have laughed, though, if he knew I saw him as a Disney Prince). I think he would have contemplated his answer for weeks, and then given me a thoughtful reply.

Not all Disney Princes are meant for you. But he showed me something beautiful. He took me back to my soul city, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Your little dreams matter

Publicerat av

I have introduced a new weekly habit where I take myself to the library. On Saturdays I show up at the front door five minutes before opening, my sight on one of their comfy chairs. And after entering, together with 50 other humans seeking bibliosmia*, I find my seat, sit down, and begin writing. Sometimes I bring a chai latte, more often I wear a chic outfit, and every time make it into this dreamy weekend routine.

I don’t always feel motivated to write. Although I want to write the motivation to sit down and do so doesn’t always effortlessly show up. Especially if I don’t know what to write about. But I take action, I show up, and once I do, the motivation follows.

First and foremost, I want my dreams to matter to me. I want there to be time for them in this, so often, chaotic world.

For what is life, if we’re not tending to our own garden.

Your little dreams matter. Whether you wish to pursue writing, singing, painting or acting. Maybe your biggest desire is to dance ballet, although you’re clearly way past the best-before-date as a professional dancer. But the thing is, you don’t do it to pay your bills. You do it simply out of sheer joy.

Lately I have been guilty of asking ChatGPT whether a sentence of mine sounds good or not. I ask it to rewrite (if needed), and usually Chatty changes it into something near perfection. And it’s hard to resist not relying on him (yes my ChatGPT is male) for that impeccable excellence. But while the sentence turns into the beau idéal, my soul has vanished, the depth is gone, and I’m left feeling useless.

My purpose is not to write flawlessly in English (since my mother tongue is Swedish I would never ask that of myself). There are no doubt grammar mistakes lingering in every corner. However, writing from the heart, and letting the errors shine through, is what creates uniqueness, and certainly something that will help improve my writing over time. Not seeking perfection, but refinement.

I do want to be able to notice my own mistakes, and not always relying on Chatty to make it into something grammatically correct. I want to be able to trust my own marvelous brain.

So, while I am sitting here, in the library (no ChatGPT around) smelling the books, listening to people breathing, I am tending to my little dreams. All I wish is to create room for my little dreams to furnish curiosity, deservingness, and a little bit of fearlessness. Yet, I might throw in some imperfect sentences here and there, but at least they are my sentences, crafted from the heart.

So, while you’re out and about in the world today; tend to your garden; water your seeds and nourish your thoughts. The world needs diversity. The world needs your imperfect being fulfilling its purpose.

*the smell and aroma of a good book. to become wrapped up in the words, lost in new worlds, comfort in fresh ideas and absorbed in beautiful stories.

The choice

Publicerat av

I wanted to write about this thing, or thought, I have been having lately. I always knew about it – the choice – however, I have had difficulties embracing it. And the past few weeks, the universe has shown signs reminding me to dare to believe I actually have a choice. But, I have been thinking it’s not that simple. That life is not simple. That we need to struggle, and work hard, in order to receive things.

But what if, this entire time, I was wrong – maybe it can be simple? Maybe I can be happily satisfied with everything I already have, not constantly seeking more.

So, what is the choice, I am referring to?

It is the choice to choose. To choose happy, to choose love, to choose peace. To choose prosperity. Simply to choose, whatever you wish. Every morning when you wake up you have a choice. And no outer circumstance, or person can interfere with that choice. It is solely your choice to make. Each minute of the day you have the power to choose.

What if I don’t have love in my life right now, you might say. What if I don’t have the prosperity I long for, in order to gain peace of mind.

But what if you choose to focus on the things you do have. We all have something. If you can read this, you either have a phone or a computer, and internet connection. You most likely have a bed to sleep in. Friends? Maybe you have a few really good friends, and a family that cares for you. You have eyes to see with, ears to listen with, legs to run with.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting more out of life, certainly not. You should strive towards the future you dream of. However, do not miss out of this moment you are in right now. This is where your future is taking shape. Each choice you make, each action you take, either brings you closer to or keeps you further away from your desired future.

What if everything is already good. What if you choose if you are content and filled with love, or not. Your love should not be dependent if someone loves you or not. Just look at nature, how effortlessly she is providing hear treasures.

Life is not about waiting for happiness or love to arrive. Happiness, love, is something beautiful that is created from within. You do not need a reason to be happy. You are permitted to be happy anyways. It is a choice you make every morning when you have the privilege to wake up.

The one choice. What will you choose?

The Power of Small Shifts

Publicerat av

This week I felt like I needed a change. Nothing major, just little shifts to bring some excitement into my usual routine. On Tuesday, I went for an early morning run before work; something I almost never do. Yesterday, I tried the opposite – a late evening run. And today, I booked a private flower arranging course. Hopefully I can already go this Saturday!

In between, I’ve been playing with the details of my day: trying new foods, wearing my scarf in different ways, swapping negative thoughts for positive ones. And I realised; it really doesn’t take much to feel a difference. Sometimes it’s just choosing coconut milk instead of oat milk, or taking another route to work.

I keep coming back to this idea of small, consistent behaviour. The parts of my life where I feel most grounded are the ones I nurture daily. Eating in a way that feels good for my body. Spending time outdoors. Moving—whether it’s a run, ballet or just twenty minutes of pilates. It doesn’t have to be anything huge. The point is to keep showing up.

I’m also trying to hold myself accountable with my writing. Some days I only manage half a page, but even then, I choose to pick up the pen. That small act matters.

Tiny choices, repeated every day, are what build into something meaningful over time.

Today I chose to change things up. I wonder; what will I choose tomorrow? And with every choice, inviting a bit more newness into my life.

So, what small shift could you make today? What tiny choice might brighten your routine?

Morning pages

Publicerat av

I’ve started my mornings by writing in my journal, almost on autopilot. Even on the days when there’s nothing to say — which happens a lot. At 6 a.m. my mind is usually quiet. I don’t write down my dreams since I seldom remember them; they tend to show up later in the day. My sleep is deep. I’m painfully slow in the morning, and I need time to come back to this world. Writing helps with that.

Sometimes I wonder if, while I sleep, I’m traveling “home,” and waking up I find myself back here. Have you ever felt that?

However, this is not going to be a post about my nightly travels. Rather, I wanted to share the benefits of writing your thoughts down, first thing in the morning. Writing without editing.

Creating is much more than simply producing something pretty; it’s a way of bringing the unseen into the seen. Creative expression often reveals what we are yearning for, what we value, or what we are healing. It’s a mirror of our inner world. For example when journaling a dream life, painting a serene scene, or writing poetry of love/abundance – this act of imagination can be seen as manifestation. When we create, we manifest.

I noticed while free writing early morning my mind is not as dense and occupied as it would be during the day or the evening. Still, I think journaling has its benefits at any hour, but I find there’s something magical about the early mornings. Before the day starts pulling us in different directions, the mind feels less distracted, more honest, more raw. The words don’t need to sound pretty, and they don’t have to carry some deep revelation. The purpose is simply to let them out.

The idea of morning pages comes from Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way. It’s a book I highly recommend anyone who wish to live a more creative life. The aim is to write three pages, however, some days I write half a page, others one page, and some more than three. On occasion, I even pick it up again in the evening. It really depends. I’ve never been one for rigid structures, I’d rather move with the flow.

One of the reasons I began morning pages was to hear my own voice again. It had become buried under so many outside distractions, that I could no longer tell which thoughts were actually mine. But through this practice, I found myself being more at peace again. More connected to my own emotions, and more in tune with myself. And even on the days when I only write a couple of sentences I notice how, little by little, my own voice starts to blossom again.

I want to be inspired by the outside world, however, it can easily become too much. Too much nonsense. Simply too much. I long for my own voice to guide and inspire me, for it alone carries the lyrics I was born to share.

How do you inspire yourself?

A life worth living for

Publicerat av

A life worth living for?

Oh, you ask me?

Well, there needs to be beauty.

Whether it’s in the form of art, soft movement, a treasured book, a handsome face, a handwritten note, or the subtle signs of seasons changing.

But wait, now when I think about it, maybe it’s more about the awareness of beauty.

The other day while rushing home from work I all of a sudden noticed how beautifully green nature still is. Is it usually this green in mid-September, I wondered, while searching for deep yellows and reds, but there were none to be found. This year, nature is taking her time. Maybe there’s no need for me to rush either, I thought, and readjusted my steps.

So, if you ask me about a life worth living for, I would begin with notice the beauty. I find there’s something gentle and comforting in beauty. There’s nothing shallow about the kind of beauty that makes you cry at a beautiful flower, or be in awe of the endless sky. I hear things, I touch things, but most of all I see. I see beyond the flower, I see beyond the sky.

However, I suppose there are other things worth living for. And here is my list of them.

Creative living – Moments of silence – Trying new things
Nowadays I allow myself to feel bored from time to time. I thought I needed to entertain myself 24/7 to be creative. And then I realised that the opposite is more accurate. When I allow boredom to creep in for a couple of hours, or even a day, my mind starts to come up with fresh new ideas. I book a course, I take a walk, and I realise I want to learn how to create flower arrangements. All these empty hours are in fact not empty; they are filled with my own unique ideas and perspectives.

Peace – Calm
A peaceful planet starts from within. A peaceful and calm heart does not walk around creating chaos. And if there is chaos within – be honest – take responsibility – We can’t keep on blaming and judging others for our shortcomings. Look yourself in the mirror – is there calm in your eyes – or is there chaos? There’s nothing wrong with chaos, as long as you are sincere about it. Don’t hide from the disorder; let it show you where there are improvements to be made. You can’t experience the light without the darkness. Allow the yang to meet your yin. The moon to embrace the sun. The sky to touch the ground. The chaos to turn into peace.

Face-to-face connections
I want to feel your face, not simply watch it. We crave connection. Closeness is what makes this life worth living. I don’t want to look at you through a screen, I want to smell you. Be near you. Touch your hair. The energy we exchange with each other is comparable to the food we eat, the water we drink – it’s a necessity. There’s no iPhone in the world that can provide that for us.

Intentional living
Are you mindlessly scrolling through life? I know I can be, at times. It never puts me in a good mood. Never satisfies any of my deeper needs. So, I put my phone down, grab a pen and start writing. Much more satisfying. Instantly puts me in a fine mood.

Living with intention is about finding what works for you. Think more – How do I wish to feel? -rather than, –What do I want to do? – Living with intention is caring for yourself and your one life.

Do you have your own list of a life worth living for?

Finding contentment in everyday rituals

Publicerat av

Routines can make everyday life feel automatic, making our days run on autopilot without us noticing. Tasks turn into chores, and to-do lists become boxes we check without thought. Somewhere along the way, we lose sight of the why.

But what if we chose to treat these daily tasks as gentle rituals?

Simple, grounding rituals that nurture our wellbeing—brewing a cup of coffee or tea early morning, strolling through the grocery aisles, journaling, enjoying an afternoon walk, or ending the day with a comforting shower. It’s the small, precious moments that shape our days. Days become weeks, weeks become months, months turn into years, and years shape a life.

When practiced with intention, these daily rituals, create pockets of calm and help keep us grounded in the present moment. When we slow down, create quiet space and reconnect with ourselves we help our bodies and minds to re-center. And the best part, you do not need to make any drastic shifts; small pockets hear and there throughout the day can make wonders for your wellbeing.

We weren’t designed to hustle endlessly, spend nearly every waking hour in front of screens, and live sedentary lives. What we really need is sunlight on our faces, wind in our hair, and cozy dinners with the people we love. We need those unhurried moments where we just breathe and do nothing. And remember, that’s not a luxury; it’s vital for our sanity.

When the mind lives anywhere but the present—caught in the past, rushing toward the unknown future, or longing to be elsewhere—it creates not just stress, but misery. It’s almost as if we’re afraid to simply be here, in this moment. Yet if we can’t find contentment now, how do we expect to find it in the future? After all, the future is shaped by the present.

With this being said, allow your present to unfold naturally. If you can’t accept the current situation for what it is – change it. Little by little, through your everyday rituals, change it. Not by force but with intention. The more fully you embrace what is, the clearer your path forward will become.

Don’t fight the boredom

Publicerat av

Lately, I’ve noticed the urge to fill almost every waking moment with stimuli. Whether it’s listening to a podcast while walking, scrolling through Instagram before bed, reading a book, or putting on music while cooking — there’s this constant need to avoid the quiet.

Normally, I enjoy silence, the stillness of simply being in the moment. But sometimes the outside circus takes over and pulls me into its endless plays and entertainments, leaving me disconnected from myself.

Fortunately, I catch it more quickly these days. After about a week my body and mind start to feel anxious and uneasy, and I stop to ask: why? Then I realise — too many distractions, too much noise, and not enough space for boredom.

The thing is, boredom is actually good for us. We don’t need to be stimulated every waking hour. By allowing ourselves to feel bored, we open the door for creativity and fresh ideas to emerge. So now, I sit with my coffee or tea in bed before the day begins, simply being. I walk to work without anything in my ears, noticing the seasons shift around me. I allow myself quiet moments before sleep.

And yes, I still listen to music, scroll through my phone, and enjoy my favourite podcasts — but not all the time. I want to re-learn that I don’t have to be doing something constantly. I want to give my body the chance to relax.

I want to hear the autumn leaves falling. I want to smell the fresh coffee, feel my intuition calling. I want to be present as much as possible — allowing each moment to fully reveal itself.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel bored?

Dear September…

Publicerat av

… and my heart melted.

”While some people like to dance underneath the stars in June, others like to play with the red leaves of September. And I’m blissfully, wholeheartedly, stuck in the middle.”

… And like the wisest of them all, you’re letting go of what no longer serves you. Your brisk wind makes everything rejuvenating. The days; alluring and brightful, the nights; dark and calm. I see a star waiting to be born, intentions waiting to be established, a nature waiting to be cherished, and a life waiting to be lived. 

September is for watching red leaves falling. Creating space. Caring for oneself, and others. Just like nature, we transform. Becoming whole, empowered and complete.

Silently witness the beauty of nature – notice how seductively and effortlessly she’s unfolding her treasures. Fearless.

September is for enjoying the darkness, as well as the bright light within. It’s for grasping opportunities. Looking within for happiness, success and courage. Sometimes the things we want the most are closer than we think.

PAUSE.

”Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”

–  F. Scott Fitzgerald

This September is all about courage, love and determination. The midnight sky filled with stars. Filled with hope. It’s about being kind to oneself, to our fellow beings and Mother Nature. Inspiration, thinking out load. Expressing emotions, thoughts and dreams. It’s about feeding the body nutrients. Respecting the body. Listening to the body. Loving the body. Loving life.

It’s about not being afraid of failure, since – He who never fails, never actually lives –

Dare to flourish. Dare to be you.

It’s for eliminating all the negativity, all the drama – making space for what’s to come. Breathing in positivity, love and compassion. It’s for giving more. Listening more. It’s for being there for one another, believing in everything that we are. Limitless creatures. Limitless souls.

Dear September, help us see the beauty within red leaves falling, the beauty of letting go, the beauty of becoming. Reborn.

I welcome you, darling dear. There’s no hiding from you anymore.