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How to find your confidence

”Stay true to yourself.”

When I talk about confidence, I don’t mean this fake kind of confidence that usually stems from seeking validation either through social media or some other extrinsic source. Rather, I see it as something that symbolizes a feeling of a deeply rooted trust within oneself, regardless of outside circumstances.

Intrinsic confidence, that is what I’m talking about.

This constant need of having to seek approval, in order to feel good about oneself is a never ending circus. It’s very common for us humans to seek other people’s blessings before we feel we are ready to do something. We might be doubting ourselves and our capabilities, and therefore seek to be validated by others. For more on this topic read my blog post Don’t wait for permission.

Confidence is closely related to self-love. The more you approve of yourself, despite your flaws and imperfections, the more confident you’ll become. Confidence is not about being perfect – it’s not about having it all figured out, or needing to have answers to everything all the time.

To be confident is to be content with who and where you are, right now, in this moment. It’s about not being afraid to ask questions. To speak up about things important to you. To seek answers from within, without feeling the need to ask for permission.

Intrinsic confidence is when you know who you are, and what you stand for. You don’t need any external validation in order to feel worthy and loved.

With this being said, below you’ll find some tips on how to be more confident within yourself.

How to find intrinsic confidence

”I believe in myself and my abilities.”

Plant positive thoughts in your mind, and watch how they grow as you water and nourish them daily. Begin every morning with a positive thought. An affirmative intention. ”Today will be a good day.” ”Today I will do my best.”

You’ll have to become aware of the negative self-talk in your head. As soon as you become aware of the negative voice – catch it, simply observe it and replace it with a positive one. ”I’ll never be able to finish all this work today.” -> ”I can do this. I will do my best.”  However, do bear in mind that positive thoughts alone are not enough if you don’t believe in yourself, and have trust within that you can do it.

Don’t compare yourself to others.

This one is obvious, and I find myself writing about it all the time. But it’s worth repeating, because comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to feeling miserable. Rather, focus on yourself and your own unique combination of strengths. Stay off social media for a while if you find yourself aimlessly scrolling page after page. Instead, spend the time improving yourself.

Cultivate your skills.

Don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself. Start writing down your thoughts, both the negative and positive ones. Analyse why these negative thoughts keep on popping up. Focus on the things you do well, the things you’re good at, and the things you enjoy doing. When you dig deep within yourself you’ll gain a great deal of knowledge about yourself, and in the process gain greater self-confidence. The goal is to focus on your skills, and to make them even greater.

Embrace yourself, embrace humanity.

You’ve many powerful traits and characteristics, and your experiences have molded you into the person you are right now. Let’s say that you’re kind of unique – in the way you walk, talk, act and behave. Even your knowledge and expertise is distinctive to you. However, as much as we humans wish to regard ourselves as these uinque beings, we’re actually more alike than we like to think. It’s kind of a paradox – yes we’re all humans and therefore very similar, nevertheless, we’re also very different in regards to our cultures, up-bringings, experiences, dreams and values. Hence, the importance of non-judgment.

Stop trying to be anyone else, when you’ve the possibility to be you.

Be kind.

Be generous with your time, and what you have to offer. If you have something another person is lacking – a special skill or talent – teach it, spread your knowledge in order to improve another person’s life. To help and serve another human being will have a positive effect on your self-confidence.

Learn something new.

Read books, listen to podcasts, take a course and learn something totally new. Becoming more knowledgeable will increase your innate power and your sense of open-mindedness. Dare to put yourself outhere and try something you’ve never done before – it will most definitely boost your confidence. It’s not about succeeding and excelling, but to have the guts to try.

Set small goals and make them happen.

Set a goal that you’re confident that you’ll achieve. This should be a small, every-day-goal such as waking up one hour earlier, spending less time on social media, drinking two extra glasses of water, exercising or going for a walk for at least 30 minutes. When you’ve achieved one goal set another one. You’ll feel much better about yourself when achieving all of these smaller goals, and soon you’ll find yourself setting much bigger goals. Start small, and take it step by step.

Having said that, we can’t run away from the fact that it’s actually pretty nice to gain recognition and appreciation for something we have done – we’re humans after all. Needless to say we shouldn’t solely rely on other people’s opinions. Of course it’s good to seek out advice and help within areas where we wish to improve, nevertheless, never should we let our confidence depend on it.

How to develop an empowered mindset

”Be humble enough to know that you’re far from perfect, and confident enough to know you can do almost anything you set your mind to.”

Having a strong mindset is crucial in order to navigate through life with confidence, clarity and a deep sense of trust within oneself. However, what characterises a strong, empowered mindset, and what can you do to develop one?

Every step forward, and every action, however small, is one step closer to where you’d like to be. Take the blindfold off, stay curious and walk with an open heart. It’s very common that we choose to stay in our little comfort zone, simply because it gives us a sense of security. People may become comfortable with having a job they hate, being stuck in a dysfunctional relationship, having feelings of sadness and underestimating oneself. In order to change something in your life you’ve to change yourself – you’ve to change your way of thinking. And lastly, you’ve to change where you put your attention.

Where attention goes energy flows

Where does your attention usually drift? Are you obsessing over what someone else is thinking about you? Are the internal conversations you have with yourself usually self-deprecating? Are you solely focusing on the negative things in your life? If you answered yes to these questions it’s about time that you reassess, and start prioritizing self-awareness.

Everything you need – the courage, the strength, compassion and love – is closer than you think. You don’t have to look far – you have to look within. It’s easy to believe that we grow strength by being around encouraging people, not to mention receive love by getting it from other people. And while that is truly important to us humans (to feel connected, loved and encouraged) you need to bear in mind that, in the end, it’s only you who have the innate power. Never expect anything from anyone. Love, confidence and trust are built from within. If you don’t love yourself it will become very difficult, if not impossible, to accept true love from another person. You can’t control what other people think or say about you, and you can’t control every circumstance in your life. However, the thing you do have control over is how you respond to other people, and to the situations brought to you in your life.

While there are many characteristics of a strong mindset I believe the most important quality besides attention is self-awareness.

Use the hours with softness

Where are you, right now, in this moment? How does your body feel? How is your breathing? Heavy? Light? What do you see? Smell? Hear?

You can’t travel back in time and change the past, and you can’t force the future to unfold a certain way. But one thing you can do, is to take control over the present moment. How would you like to spend the now? How would you like to feel now? Learn to just sit with yourself, in the present moment.

When we feel out of sync with the mind and body we easily start feeling tired, unmotivated and stressed. Nowadays I notice rather quickly when it happens, and I’ve learned what I need, in order to feel more grounded and peaceful again.

-> Whenever I need to be refreshed or renewed I spend time alone, in stillness, use the hours with softness and show appreciation to the present moment.

There is no place more powerful than the present moment. However, most of us use this moment to think about the past or worry about the future. Very seldom we actually embrace all the wonderful things happening right now. Are you spending time with a loved one? Show gratitude. Are you lying on the couch, chilling at night? Show gratitude. Are you smelling the roses, enjoying a neat and tidy apartment? Show gratitude. Are you in nature? Show gratitude.

The now is all we have, and the moment we learn to use it wisely, we’ll be one step closer to a brighter, more content future.

Your future is created now.

Creative writing

”At least we’re breathing the same air, you and I.”

Whenever I want to gain some new inspiration, and allow new thoughts to enter I free write. It can be about absolutely anything. It can start from a word that I like, from a song, from a conversation I overheard at the coffee shop or from nature. It can grow from anything.

Writing is exercise for the mind. As important it is to exercise our bodies it is equally important to exercise our beautiful minds. However, you don’t have to write in order to challenge your mind; you can for example learn a new language, study a new subject or meditate – simply do something that your mind isn’t used to.

Create space for new ideas to enter, whatever ideas they might be – let them come. Don’t analyze them too much; they’re just thoughts. In the end they will simply be words written on a piece of paper.

Step out from your own mind

I often try to picture myself in another person’s mind when writing, forcing myself to become more creative, and to allow the feelings to be more profound. Cause let’s be honest, you don’t have to feel all the feelings you write about. Sometimes you just want to step outside your own mind and write from another person’s point of view. I like to think that’s how we grow our minds; it’s how we become more open-minded, and more empathetic human beings. Try to put yourself in another person’s situation. It may not be as easy as you may think, but it’s worth the challenge.

The power of silence

People are so familiar with noise, distractions, sounds, talking, interruptions and opinions that silence has become rare, and sometimes even frightening. Silence is a powerful tool because people don’t expect silence. People expect argument, disturbance, debate, and they seek every opportunity to be right, to have the final word. Make them uncomfortable, hence, force them to think before they speak. Let them become aware of the peacefulness that surrounds the moment. To master silence is to master your voice, it’s to master your surroundings and it’s to master yourself. Make space for silence, and you’ll make space for sensational thoughts to enter.

____________

5 AM. ‘A good night’s sleep? Merely a memory,’ the young boy thought while trying to scratch his upper back. His left hand reached out to the other side of the bed, searching for something that wasn’t there. He grabbed the pillow, pulled it close to his chest, forced himself to awaken old memories, old scents. Regardless of how hard he tried he could not forget that scent. There were people who got caught up in old memories while listening to music. It was the smell, that haunted him.

He dragged himself out of bed to open the balcony door. His feet touched the raw, biting surface. He was paralyzed, and in some miraculous way his broken heart still found a way to beat. The thunderstorm had kept him up all night. He had never gotten over them, traumatised since early childhood. And the rashes, those damn rashes. He had never gotten rid of them either. ‘Will I ever get over this,’ he whispered to himself, staring at the empty bed.

……………..

The young boy took a quick jump to the side, and hid behind the old oak tree. Dirty leaves lying on the wet grass, sticking firmly to his shoes. He observed the old man’s wrinkly face, his tired eyes appeared to be completely lost in the pages. Is it even possible to read a book so water damaged? He decided to move a bit closer, and with every step his heartbeat started to slow down. The air was still humid despite the rain that had been pouring down during the night. The old man looked up. He placed the book in his pocket and moved to the left as soon as he saw him. His eyes gazing at the dark clouds coming in. ‘It will most probably be here within an hour or so.’

‘It kept me up all night,’ the young boy said, scratching his right leg.

‘There’s no rainbow without the rain.’ The old man took a glimpse at his leg. ‘Mosquitos?’

‘No, rashes. Kept me up all night.’ The young boy looked down at his once white converses. He usually didn’t have problems this time of the year. Now he could barely sit still, even though every cell in his body was screaming for silence.

‘Yet, here we are, breathing the same air, watching the same night sky. The same stars, guiding us, and illuminating our souls when we’ve found ourselves astray in the dark,’ the old man replied.

They could hear the thunder from far distant. The young boy scratched his forearm while a tender breeze brushed his cheek. In just seconds the wind got stronger. ‘But it aches. It aches so bad I can’t breathe. When does it stop?’

The old man closed his eyes. ‘If it was love, then never.’ 

How to be the best version of yourself

”Be the sort of person you would admire.”

You are a different person to different people. Annoying to some. Kind to another. Talented to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who are you, to you? What does the best version of yourself look like? Being the best version of yourself needs to start with you, it needs to start from within. Other people will always have expectations from you, however, you know who you are, and what’s capable for you.

When striving to be the best version of yourself, remember, that version will vary from day to day. Always ask yourself how do I feel today? What would I like to accomplish? What is my intention?

Below you’ll find five mindsets on how to be the best version of yourself. Mindsets that I myself try, to the best of my abilities, to live by.

1. Take your power back

To change your life, you have to change yourself. To change yourself, you have to change your mindset. It all begins, and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you – if you allow it. Trust that you have what it takes. You won’t become powerful through another person, getting a promotion or having excess money in your account. These things might make you feel powerful. But they won’t make you powerful. Having a confidence that stems from within, a deep trust in yourself and a positive mindset, that my dear, will make you powerful.

2. Strive for progression

Get comfortable with feeling challenged, it simply means you’re growing. Humans need to be challenged in order to not become stagnant. We’ve all been beginners, but if you choose to constantly advance, and move forward you’ll after some time notice remarkable improvements. It won’t happen over night, but giving up is not an option. When I decided to start writing my blog in english, it made me a bit hesitant at first. However, after several months of writing I’ve noticed big improvements in my writing skills. Of course there’re still advancements to be made, but I’m making progress each and every day.

Is there an area where you would like to expand your knowledge and expertise? Start with the smallest of steps, and notice how, little by little, a development occurs.

3. Spread kindness

As humans we can choose to be a lot of different things. Nonetheless, the more I think about it I feel that one of the traits I consider as one of the most valuable is being kind. Other people will unquestionably remember if you’ve treated them well or not. How we choose to treat others says a lot about ourselves. Be someone people look up to. Give to others, and provide space for them to be the best version of themselves too. At times it might be clever to be a bit selfish, and to set clear boundaries (don’t let yourself be manipulated by fools), however, you don’t have to be obnoxious to be successful. Be kind, always.

4. Let your intuition guide you

Listen to your inner voice. What does it tell you? Quiet down the mental chatter, and start to observe. Your life needs to be your vision and no one else’s. It’s easy to get caught up in other people’s lives, comparing oneself to other people’s success. You might listen too much to what your parents, friends and loved ones think you should do, or can do. This is usually detrimental to your own progression. Start focusing on what you have to offer to the world; what are your unique talents? How do you wish to live your life? With this being said, it’s nothing wrong in seeking advice or inspiration from others that has already succeeded within your field of interest. Nevertheless, the main focus should be on yourself, and what you can do.

5. Learn from your mistakes

Mistakes shouldn’t be regarded as merely mistakes. Instead they should be considered as obstacles making us become better, enhancing as human beings. They’re barriers, helping us grow and improve ourselves. Without mistakes you wouldn’t grow. Nevertheless, this means you need to become self-aware. You need to be self-consious, and realise when you’ve made a mistake; otherwise you’ll never grow. Instead, you’ll keep on making the same mistake, over and over again, until you grasp the meaning behind it.

All things considered, when it comes to choosing the best mindsets for growth, you need to adapt those most suitable to you. Get to know yourself, and be honest where improvements need to be made. In what areas are you struggling? And where are you flourishing? Self-awareness = power.

Embrace uncertainty

”In silence you’ll find yourself.”

There are times when we are fully engaged in the things happening in the outside world that we simply forget to connect with the vast world within. Rest assured; the more you listen to and trust your own unique voice things will start flowing more effortlessly, regardless of how chaotic life may seem.

Whenever I find myself completely caught up in my thoughts, and worrying about what’s to come I read these following lines from Eckhart Tolle’s book ”A New Earth”, and somehow his words always succed in bringing me peace of mind.

”Some changes may look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge. There may be a period of insecurity and uncertainty. What should I do? As the ego is no longer running your life, the psychological need for external security, which is illusory anyway, lessens. You are able to live with uncertainty, even enjoy it. When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life. It means fear is no longer a dominant factor in what you do and no longer prevents you from taking action to initiate change.”

– Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, p. 274

I’m trying my best to appreciate the uncertainty, and the most successful way (for me) is to be totally immersed in the hear and now. To accept what is, and thereinafter act. I don’t make the best of decisions if I’m driven by fear. Nevertheless, I acknowledge the fear for what it is. I try not to numb it with distractions, but I realize that being afraid won’t bring me forward.

Instead, thank fear for showing up, since it’s trying to protect you after all. However, you don’t need fear to protect you if there’s no actual threatening danger in front of you – you’re fully capable of protecting yourself.

Last year I wrote a blog post about how to cope during difficult times. You can read it here: How to cope during times of self-isolation.

Or if you want to read some other thoughts about uncertainty you can read my blog post: Contemplation.

Slow living

”A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.”

The present moment – the only moment there is for us to be alive. Humans are very good at preparing to live, but not very good a living. Habitually dwelling in the past and dreaming of the future, while having difficulties concentrating the mind on the present moment.

Wherever you are – know that you are home. Wherever you find yourself; whether you’re stuck in a rut, anxious, or simply lost in the fast spinning outside world – whatever the present moment contains – accept, then act.

”There’s nothing wrong in looking forward to the future, but remember to cerish today’s breath.”

One thing that 2020 thought me, and that I wish to bring with me into 2021 is the idea of ”slow living”. In fact I believe all of us can benefit from slowing down the pace, even for a tiny bit. More often than not this fast paced society triggers feelings such as worry, anxiety and stress. We constantly feel the pressure to have more, do more, be more. Never being satisfied, and continually seeking instant gratifications. Forgetting all about how to breathe, losing sight of the moments in-between.

”You’re exactly where you need to be in order to get to where you want to go.”

I’ve noticed that the quieter my surroundings, the easier it becomes to hear my inner voice. To be able to still the mind, and listen to what lies underneath is, however, my main purpose while seeking stillness. When the mind is turbulent it’s difficult to hear or see anything, nevertheless, when the mind is calm, everything becomes clear blue sky. I believe, that, within the stillness you find space. A space called home.

One doesn’t have to meditate in order to find peace of mind, however it might help. Needless to say, it’s not the minutes that count; it’s what you carry with you, after you’ve been sitting in silence – the patience, the alertness and a greater sense of awareness. Meditation is not sitting with no thought –  it’s letting the thoughts pass by, without dwelling, but simply being aware. It’s a perfect opportunity to practise slow breathing, going within, and trusting oneself.

When seeking stillness you allow your brain to go beyond thought. You might for example struggle with a challenging task, and seek more intelligent ideas on how to proceed – when you allow your brain to unwind, and ”turn off”, hence getting rid of all the pressure, you allow your creativity to come alive, which in turn may lead to more creative solutions to your problem.

Exactly why is slow living good for you?

”A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.”

The main reason – you actually start enjoying life, not just living life. You’ll become more aware of the things happening around you, as well as within you. I don’t believe life is meant to be rushed, cause to where are we rushing Our death beds?

It’s okay, and absolutely necessary, to slow it all down. To pause, breathe, and enjoy nature. To cook your favorite meal. To call a friend. To be together. To watch the ocean. To enjoy a book. To laugh, or cry. Just anything you wish to do.

Sit with yourself, discover what makes your heart sing.

When you’re enjoying what you’re doing you easily reach that so called flow state. A state of being when time passes by without you even noticing. A state of being when you’re your most creative self. A state of being when you’re guided by your inner voice. A state of being that can only be described by the words pure bliss. Learn to look at life with the curiosity of a child. Embrace who you are – all of it, both the shadow and the light. Accept your darker sides, your shortcomings. It is with acceptance and awareness that we can start to begin to change.

The study of self & others

By taking time to slow down you allow yourself to fully appreciate all that is happening within you. In other words, it can be seen as the study of self.

Become curious. Curious enough to want to know more about yourself, and the ways in which you can expand. There’s so much to discover, and learn about life, about yourself and the people around you. When you spend precious, slow time alone you gain a better understanding of who you are, and what you desire in life. And while I’m very much for self-development and gaining new knowledge and expertise, it’s also vital to ask oneself why one is striving for something all the time. It all comes down to why we choose to do certain things.

In addition, you may also come to appreciate other peoples’ company more, after spending hours by yourself.

When it comes to relationships you have the opportunity to be both the teacher, and the student. Therefore, start practising slow living when interacting with other people. What can you teach each other? In what way can you serve one another? How can you both benefit from the interaction? Start by listening without judgment. Listen to understand, not simply to respond.

Keep in mind that everything is positive as long as we learn from it. Learn to forgive yourself, and others. Relationships are our biggest teachers. Humans are social creatures, we’re not meant to sit in solitude day in and day out. We’re meant to interact with each other. We’re meant to evolve and change with the help from one another. You truly get to know yourself while communicating and spending time with a wide range of people. It’s a tremendous richness to get to spend time with humans that are different from ourselves – people that have a different outlook on life, speak a different language, as well as people with different life experiences.

With this being said, I strongly believe we all can benefit from introducing the concept of  ”slow living” into our hectic lives. Not only for the sake of our own wellbeing, but in the interest of gaining a deeper connection within our relationships.

Art for sale

”Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.”

– Pablo Picasso

I would not call myself an artist. I would say that I’m more of a self-taught intuitive painter.

What is a self-taught intuitive painter you might ask?

I do not have an art degree; as a matter of fact I was not even good at arts while in school (according to my teacher). This being said, I do love colors – I appreciate messing around with paint, releasing emotions and feelings while being caught up in the process of creating. For me art is a form of self-expression.

I believe that within each and every one of us lies an artist of some sort, waiting to be released. Humans were born to create, and the beauty within that is that there are limitless possibilities for us to embrace our craft. We just need to be still, and open to receiving guidance from the universe. Sometimes that guidance comes in the form of a quiet voice, whispering; ”You need to start painting” – like it did to me.

Where does your mind wander when you allow it to travel freely?

I encourage you to stop for a while. You see, the soul doesn’t usually scream out its desires; usually it’s a soft melody, unperceivable to the five senses, nevertheless, something to never be ignored.

I find art to be one of the most beautiful forms of self-expression. The advantage of art is that it can be translated to everyone; you don’t have to be speaking a certain language, or being a certain age, or having a certain background, in order to understand and appreciate art. Art is for everyone.

The only thing required from the observer is a sense of curiosity, a willingness to see beyond the five senses, and a desire to tap into their imagination – and that is the moment when art becomes boundless, just like us humans. 

”My wish is that this piece of art will transmit you joy, bliss, hope and possibilities. I hope you sense a deep feeling of self-love, trust and optimism when you look at the painting. Whatever you seek, it is already resting within you – power, abundance, love, prosperity, peace and success. Dear human, know that you are worthy of all your desires.”

”You are more powerful than you think.”

55×46 cm
”Home is where the art is.”

40×30 cm
”Heaven is a place within.”

50×61 cm
”Flowers need time to bloom.”

50×61 cm
”A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

42×42 cm

If you’re intrested in some of the art pieces, please email me for more details and price inquiry:

lindamariavestman@gmail.com

How to change and replace limiting beliefs

”We don’t grow when things are easy. We grow when we face challenges.”

Limiting beliefs can be very sneaky, and so powerful that no matter how hard we try to control our thoughts and emotions they keep preventing us from attracting what we want in life. But what are the most common limiting beliefs stopping us from reaching our fullest potential? And what can we do in order to change and replace them for good? 

A limiting belief is a belief that stops us from doing something or changing; almost like an invisible barrier that prevents us from what we truly want. It’s something that we say to ourselves and that blocks us from moving forward or achieving our goals. The nasty voice in your head that says; I can’t do it.

Limiting beliefs are generally based on past experiences, our childhood, the way we were raised, our culture etcetera. They are deeply rooted within us, usually on a subconscious level, and therefore, we might not be fully aware of what they are, and the negative effect they have on us. Limiting beliefs are strongly connected to fear; fear of not being enough, fear of failure, fear of rejection.

Below you’ll find some of the most common limiting beliefs, and some strategies for combating them.

”I’m not good enough.”

This one is closely related to comparison. We easily compare ourselves to other people, and their beautiful instafriendly and successful lives. Or then we think that we’re not capable of achieving our goals, or even worthy of success, money, abundance or love. If you notice that your thoughts go in this direction then your job is to gradually start changing your thought patterns.

Before all else, know that you’re worthy of all the love, joy, peace, success and happiness that you’re longing for. Maybe you’ve been so used to put other people’s needs above your own that you simply forgot about yourself along the way.

Secondly, work on respecting yourself. And learn to respect others for their hard work as well. Be genuinely happy for other people and their success. If other people can succeed it means you can too. You just have to believe that you’re good enough, and that you’re capable of attaining your dreams.

You’re good enough. You’re you, and that’s your superpower.

One important aspect though; if you notice that you compare yourself to others all the time then the first step for you is to re-direct focus towards yourself. Of course you can use others as a source of inspiration, however, your main focus should be on your unique abilities and expertise. How can you best serve and help others with your talents?

”I can’t do it.”

What you think you become. So if you think you can’t do it, then of course you can’t do it. When you change your thinking it will change your life.

Start telling yourself ”I can do it”. You can become successful at almost anything if you dedicate yourself to it. Your only limit is you. Of course you have to be both strategic and self-aware; you need to know what your strengths and weaknesses are.

Stay optimistic, yet realistic; there’s a fine balance between living above the clouds and staying grounded on earth. Both is needed –  of course you can tell yourself I’m a limitless human being, but let’s face it, you’ll have to become conscious of what is possible for you. Self-awareness is everything – learn about yourself; what are your specific talents, and go from there. Be passionate about evolving, and about constantly learning about all things new. Those that are curious, as well as adaptable to change, usually seem to flow through life with a little more effortless ease.

Last but not least, you need to take action. Nothing good will come out of it if you lay on the coach all day, every day. You need to start putting yourself out there. You need to just go for it. You need to take action.

”I will be rejected.”

We’ve all been rejected at some point in our lives; at work, in school, in a relationship or for something that we’ve created. Rejection is part of the human experience. And while it can hurt your pride immensely, start to look at it as a learning experience instead. Sometimes it’s good to not take oneself too seriously, it’s not the end of the word if you get rejected. Maybe it’s the perfect time for reflection and changing things up.

Do not fear rejection. You can’t please everyone, however, always please yourself. Strive to do your best, no matter what. If you’re content and pleased with what you’re doing then rejection won’t feel as bad. At least you know that you did your best at the time being. I’m well aware that this is easier said than done, cause our egos get oh so very upset by rejection. You need to be patient with yourself. Put that ego of yours aside, and let your inner voice (that deep inner knowing) guide you instead.

”People will judge me.”

Let’s face it; people will always judge. People love to gossip, and there will always be people who will judge you and your life. Maybe people should be more concerned with their own lives instead of focusing on what other people are up to. And maybe you should ask yourself; ”Am I judging other people?” Cause if you’re judging others, it’s easier for other people to judge you too.

Most importantly, you can’t control what other people are doing. Let others be whoever they wish to be. Be you and do what you love to do, without the fear of being judged. We should strive to be less judgemental, to others as well as to ourselves. Encouragement – that’s what we need more of.

”It’s too late.”

It’s never too late, darling friend. ”But I’m too old to find another job”, you might say. ”I’s too late, I’m already too overweight.” ”I’m too old to start a company.” ”Too old to start studying.” 

Whatever you might feel that you’re too old for, you’re not. No matter your age or circumstances it’s never too late for anything. It’s better to have tried and failed, to not have tried at all. Life is too short for sitting around wondering what would have happened. Do it!

Strategies in a nutshell

1. Awareness

The first crucial step is to become aware of our limiting beliefs, cause then, and only then, we have the power to move past them.

Start to journal; write down your thoughts, feelings in order to become aware of what’s stopping you from moving forward. Without awareness, you can’t really proceed. Take the time to get real about what’s holding you back. When you’ve figured this one out, then you’re ready to move forward, ready to take action.

2. Change your words

Focus on positive, yet realistic, thinking. Focus on the things you have, the things you’re grateful for, rather than lack. Change the way you speak about yourself, the way you speak about others. Give yourself the love and respect you deserve. Be impeccable with your words. 

”I attract love, joy, abundance and success.”

”I’m worthy.”

”I’m strong, confident, happy and alive.”

”My life is filled with blessings, love and kindness.”

”Money flows effortlessly and easily to me.”

Words are powerful, therefore, choose them wisely. And yes there will be days when it will feel difficult and challenging. Days when nothing seem to go as planned. Don’t panic. Pause and breathe. Speak with love, integrity, passion and joy. Don’t feed your mind bullshit. Be kind to your mind.

Start listening to the voice within. What does it tell you? Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? If you don’t like the way you talk to yourself – then change it. You have the power.

3. Take action – change your limiting beliefs to more empowering beliefs.

Set an intention every morning; ”Today will be a great day”. ”Today I’ll be successful in everything I do. ”Today I’ll do my best.”

As soon as you notice the negative voice telling you that ”I can’t do it”, change it to a more empowering sentence; ”I can do it”, ”I’m confident”.

Focus on the things that you’re good at, your strengths, and make them even better.

This is, however, a learning process. It’s about changing old habits, since, as I mentioned above limiting beliefs are usually deeply rooted within, generally based on past experiences, our childhood and the way we were raised. Changing these limiting beliefs won’t happen over night. Be patient with yourself, and above all trust that you’re able to fight them.

For a more in-depth strategy on how to release limiting beliefs for good I would highly recommend you to read the article ”Trapped by your Mind? Learn This Five Step Process for Releasing Limiting Beliefs”. It’s written by Mike Bundrant the co-founder at iNLP Center and the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self Sabotage.

With this being said, I hope you feel motivated and ready to crush your limiting beliefs once and for all.

Dear January…

… be brave enough to speak your truth.

”If you want to know love you must lose your fear of life.”

January is for awakening to the authenticity within the soul. While nature’s half asleep – breathe, darling, breathe. Move, one precious step at a time. Trust yourself, never neglect your true worth. Your true light. Strive for progression, growth and compassion. There’s always something to be grateful for. Life. Dear human, be grateful for life. 

January is for taking that delicate, crucial first step. A beautiful opportunity to begin anew arises, sunrise after sunrise. Breath after breath. Souls awakening from the darkest of night. From the deep, deep slumber we all return to light. Guided by the strength within, shining bright.

Brave being, believe in your Self. Now. Appreciate the journey, for it molds you into the human you are. Now. Into the human you are becoming. Now. The human you’ve always been. Now.

This January, all about understanding one’s uniqueness. Knowing that it’s ok to be scared, to not have all the answers. Be ambitious anyway. Be curious, be you. It’s about listening, having faith. Allowing things to unfold naturally, with effortless ease. It’s about dancing with life, going with the flow, and surrendering to the magic it has to offer.

Trust your inner wisdom, while it’s guiding you to where you belong, to the steps you need to take. Darling, it’s time for you to awake, to everything your heart can shake.

It’s all about sustainable, slow living, spreading loving kindness to all living beings. Focusing on the important, taking inspired action. Creating a graceful planet, a peaceful world within. It all begins with you. 

January dear, I welcome you. Let’s awaken to the delicacy of this newborn day. Learning to flow with the breath of life. Surrendering to the truth, with everything that resonates with the core. Building a little garden in the heart.

Darling, be brave enough to speak your truth.

Growth is uncomfortable

”Energy flows where your attention goes.”

Two weeks ago I decided that I was going to write a blog post every day until Christmas. A decision based on me feeling a bit unmotivated, and I thought that what better way than to pressure myself to take som damn action. And I must say that there’s truth in the statement action breeds motivation.

With that being said. Let’s talk about 2020.

What’s the best thing that has happened for you this year?

Although this year has been filled with adversity, and we all have had our struggles, I still would like you to reflect on something good that has happened for you. Take some time, and reflect on some things that have made you stronger, more resilient. And of course you don’t have to share it with me. But if you want, then you’re more than welcome ❤

”You give life to what you focus on.”

Personally, I was forced out of my comfort zone (like many others out there). And that can actually be a good thing, since it all comes down to how we choose to look at it. Was I comfortable? No way. I’m still not sure I am, but I’m learning to flow with it. Instead of letting fear run the show, I rather see excitement and curiosity play the leading role. And yes, it’s much smoother when you’re the one in charge of the changes happening in life, but no, that’s not always the case. Sometimes the universe gives you shit, but that’s only because she wants you to turn that shit into gold.

Oftentimes we don’t grow when we’re too comfortable.

”Growth is uncomfortable because you have never been here before. ”

Every day trying my best to be comfortable with the uncertainty, not letting fear be a dominant factor in what I do. Instead, my goal is to take action to initiate change. When the comfort has been taken away from us it’s time to lean towards growth. There are times when we are fully engaged in the things happening in the outside world that we simply forget to connect with the vast world within. Rest assured; the more you listen to, and trust your own unique voice things will start flowing more effortlessly, regardless of how chaotic life may seem. 

And with that said, I hope you have a lovely Christmas holidays filled with love and magic.