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The Courage To Change

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”She travels through phases to rise in full bloom.”

– and so does the Moon

As humans we often find ourselves struggling as soon as we encounter change of some sort. Nonetheless, change is inevitable for us to transform and evolve. It’s unavoidable, in order for us to become the humans we are meant to become. I’ve not always seen eye to eye with change. As a matter of fact I’ve always been afraid of change. Deeply afraid of change.

In the past change usually made me feel uncomfortable, like I had no control over my life. No control over my Self. However small or big, it always made me feel uneasy. I wanted to feel safe, and at ease, despite the fact that the situation I was finding myself in was nothing but detrimental for my evolution as a human being. Nevertheless, as time passes by I’ve become to appreciate the uncertainty of life, and I’ve become to appreciate change. There’s beauty in wanting to change, in wanting to transform. There’s beauty in uncertainty. Something that used to make me feel anxious and fearful, now makes me feel a little bit more excited, and alive.

You posses the power to change the way you look at things

By being more present in the moment, and by turning inwards, towards myself, I’ve realised the importance of allowing things to unfold effortlessly, without me trying to interfere. Life guides us every single day, if we let it. It’s up to us to decide how we react to the things happening for us. We can’t control life, however, it provides us with lessons, and opportunities for growth each and every day. Still, no one can take away our reactions to life, that’s one thing we’ll always have control over. We’ll always have control over our thoughts, decisions and responses. You posses the power to change the way you look at things. And when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Don’t be afraid to change

What is more, you should never be afraid to change. If the person you are at the moment just doesn’t feel right, or you feel that you can be more, do more – then know that there is always the opportunity for you to change. The best thing about change is, that it’s never too late. You’re never too young, or too old. Now is always the perfect time. Just like the seasons, we change. You can change how many times you like, that’s no one’s business, but yours. You choose. You choose when it’s your season to change.

And remember, not everyone will understand you, and the path you’re walking. Don’t let that discourage you from moving forward, from changing. You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. As long as you’re your own cup of tea, and as long as you don’t harm anyone, or yourself, it’s completely fine. As a matter of fact, it’s more than fine. It’s marvellous. Wonderful, and just as it’s supposed to be.

Rise in full bloom

Darling, I hope you have the courage to change, the day you feel it’s time. Cause, the day will come when the pain of staying stuck gets bigger than the pain of uncertainty. However, the more I think about change, the more I’ve become to realise that maybe it’s actually not so much about changing, but more so about becoming the person I’ve always been, deep within. Allowing myself to rise in full bloom.

Life is far from linear, rather, I believe life should be seen as a process. You might think that you have all of your life figured out by the age of 30. But, then life happens, and all of a sudden you might feel a tremendous need to speak up, to speak your truth. It’s like the calm, unnoticeable voice that has been deeply hidden inside of you suddenly wants to shout out loud. You see, all these years it has been trying to get your attention, yet you never really took the time to listen to what it had to say. That’s one reason why I treasure the stillness so much.

Compassion towards others begins with compassion towards ourselves

Within the tranquility lies the answer. The answer to your deepest desires. Why are we so afraid to follow that inner voice? Why are we so afraid to trust our inner knowing, our inner wisdom? Are we so concerned about what others might think of us, that we don’t even allow our own intuition to guide us? I truly believe that the more we go within, and reflect upon where we are in life, and where we want to be, the more we stop comparing ourselves to others. I also believe that the more we learn about ourselves, the more we begin to trust ourselves. And the more we learn to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and not so wise decisions, the more we begin to forgive the people around us for their shortcomings. Compassion towards others begins with compassion towards ourselves. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves, and neither should we take this life too seriously. You’re allowed to change, as many times as you like. You’re allowed to be, exactly who you wish to be.

There’s this book ”The courage to be disliked” written by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. I knew it would become a favourite of mine just by reading the back part of the book. It’s a conversation between a philosopher and a young man, and their discussion reveals a profoundly liberating way of thinking: by developing the courage to change and to ignore the limitations so frequently imposed upon us, it’s possible to find happiness. The authors are using the theories of Alfred Adler, and is written in the classical ”dialogue format” method of Greek philosophy. I highly recommend the book; it’s simple, straightforward and eye-opening. A good read, indeed, especially for those longing for the courage to change.

Dear October…

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… there’s no June without you. 

”The silent hour of night,
and my heart suddenly arise,
caressing my awaken sight,
while awaiting life, with blissful eyes.”

Your days short, nights endless. Swimming in your darkness, facing our deepest fears. There’s no way escaping the twilight, but to invite it to dance.

This October is all about harnessing the talents within. Cultivating curiosity, courage, confidence and creativity. Life is filled with opportunities. Trust. It’s about accepting and releasing emotions, negative thoughts. Reaching out to humans through loving kindness and warmhearted action. Striving for growth and progression. Connection and compassion. Speaking with integrity. Being impeccable with the words.

There’s always a reason to choose happy. Keep it fresh and wild, darling soul child.

In the beginning, even when your goals seem out of reach you’ll have to trust yourself. Trust that you have what it takes to get to where you want to be. In the end it’s only you who decide who you are, and what’s possible to achieve.

Small steps, and every tiny victory, will take you further along the road. If you have a clear vision of where you see yourself in the future – keep that vision in your mind and never lose sight of it. You don’t have to know exactly how you’re going to get there, just believe that you will. Work hard, every day. Strive to always challenge yourself, and remember – enjoy the process as well.

I welcome you, dear October. I believe your cold breeze sings to me, as your gloomy night speaks to me. My quiet thoughts secretly in love with your dark, fierce character. However, be gentle, be kind, as summer, still on my mind. And while I’m reading you slowly, I’ve become aware, that beneath that brisk, unpredictable wind, lies a warm, delicate soul, teaching us all how to grow. Quiet the mind. Dance with every breath. Now is the time to set all worries aside, to rise above limiting beliefs and self-destructive behavior. Awaken to a new confidence, as forceful as the strongest, brittlest wind. Found within. Sometimes it takes courage to be who you are. Always found within. 

Three habits to embrace slow living

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”Less mindless dwelling, more mindful attention.”

Slow living is about creating time, space and energy for the things that matter most to us in life. It’s about taking the time to do things properly, and thereby enjoy them more. Allowing ourselves to be fully present.

I think it was Socrates who said:

”The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”

There are of course many habits one can incorporate in order to embrace a slower kind of living. Here are just three of my favorites at the moment. I hope you’ll find enjoyment in them as well.

Stop chasing, start appreciating

Usually the more we want, or chase something, the more that thing keeps on moving further and further away from us. When we find ourselves being too attached to a certain outcome we’re blocking other things from flowing to us. If we operate from an ”I want” mindset it usually entails that we’re lacking something.

For example, instead of chasing love – start appreciating the love you already have in your life, whether it’s the love from a pet, from a friend or a parent. Start appreciating the beauty of a sunset, a leaf, a well written book or a calm, restful night in. Love is to be found everywhere, not only between two human beings.

The same goes with your job. Are you chasing a certain career? Start appreciating everything you’ve done thus far. Everything that has brought you to this particular moment. You might not know exactly where you are going and how you’ll get there, but the more you’re actually enjoying life, and not rushing through life, you’ll notice how much more life you have time for.

Where your attention goes, energy flows

In a way the mind believes it has to think all the time (or worry, dwell, reflect, analyse etcetera), otherwise it will collapse or cease to exist. As long as we think about things, we’re in control, or so we believe. There’s no way to control the future, or how other people behave and what kind of situations that are brought to us. The things we do have control over are the things happening within ourselves – How we choose to react to the people and circumstances in our lives, and where we choose to direct our focus and attention.

Of course we can contribute to society with our knowledge and expertise, we’re not powerless in that sense. However, we can’t control the actions of others, other people’s motives or predictions about the future.

You’re in control of your own attitude, your own actions, and in which mindset you wish to spend your day to day life. Where your attention goes, energy flows.

By being true to your innermost self, you slowly start to redirect the focus onto the things that matter most to you in life. All these desires you have, all these things you crave, whether it’s love, prosperity, connection, success, adventure, know that they all stem from within. Look at them as a seed, waiting to be nourished and watered daily, by you.

Listen to yourself

”I would like to spend the rest of my days in a place so silent – and working at a pace so slow – that I would be able to hear myself living.”

– Elizabeth Gilbert

The past few weeks I’ve allowed myself to meditate more, to just sit with myself, in silence. I’ve been having the urge to write down my thoughts on a day to day basis – making my headspace not only clearer, but creating space for anything new to enter.

In an old blog post I wrote about the courage to trust yourself, and how that can assist you in cultivating more courage, self-worth and compassion.

It’s very difficult to hear oneself when the mind is constantly caught up in the outside world. If we never take the time to just sit with ourselves, we won’t hear the silent, important whispers from the soul.

I encourage you to stop for a while. You see, the soul doesn’t usually scream out its desires; usually it’s a soft melody, unperceivable to the five senses, nevertheless, something never to be ignored. 

❤

Linda

How to spark your creativity

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”Be still and observe – the earth is dancing.”

I am ”I just want to sit in front of the ocean for a little while” kind of person. Whenever I need to find stillness I go to the ocean. The sense of calmness, as well as the sound of crashing waves always bring peace to my soul. I’ve always lived close to the sea; I grew up on the coast, in a small town in Finland, and I’ve always seen myself living close to the water also in the future. Wherever I move there needs to be water.

Water is life.

”A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.”

I’ve noticed that the quieter I become, the more alive I feel. My mind is one of those who like to constantly chitchat about this and that, and usually about weird, irrelevant topics. To be able to still the mind, and listen to what lies underneath is, however, my main purpose while seeking stillness. When the mind is turbulent it’s difficult to hear or see anything, however, when it’s calm, everything becomes clear blue sky.

I read somewhere that ”to spend time in nature is to witness a thousand miracles”, and isn’t that true. Nature is the best place to visit when one wants to get in the ”zone”, find inspiration or simply just be. I felt a lack of inspiration coming over me, but after some well needed time – listening to the sound of the waves, the feeling of the sun caressing my cheeks and the fresh air embracing my skin – my mind is clearer and filled with more space for creativity to enter. Thank you, dear Nature.

There is nothing more relaxing and rejuvenating than observing nature. Finding stillness while for example hiking in the forest or in the mountains will do wonders for your entire being. Escaping the real world for a couple of hours, or even days, might boost your creativity and feed it with new flourishing insights.

Below you’ll find some other ways which might help you spark your creativity.

  • Tap into your body through movement. Working out has many health benefits, not only does it affect your body, building up your cardiovascular health and slowing down your ageing, but your headspace will feel much clearer. When you’ve crushed out a great workout you’re ready to crush out even more things during the day – to accomplish the tasks you’ve at hand, getting more productive. Soon you’ll notice that your body and mind will start to work with you, rather than against you.
  •  Read. I advice you to read something totally different from what you’re used to. If you’re used to reading fiction, read some kind of study or scientific research. Or if you mainly read scientific studies; read a novel. Change things up. I read three books last week; one was a thriller, the second one a self-help, and the third a non-fiction. A little bit of everything, in order to challenge the brain.
  • Free write. If you’re one of those who suffers from writers block, and writing is your job, then I would advise you to just write. Write about everything, and nothing – put down all of your thoughts on a piece of paper. It doesn’t have to be great – get rid of the pressure of having to constantly deliver something awesome all the time. However, many times when we get rid of stress, and stop being so hard on ourselves, things start to work with us, rather than against us.
  • Reconnect with your why. It’s very easy to get caught up in every day life that we tend to forget about why we’re doing certain things. Reestablish your why and the reasons you’re doing what you’re doing. Connect with your purpose – write down why you like to do the things you’re doing, what would you like to accomplish and why would you like to accomplish it? If you end up realising that you hate what you’re doing than look at it as a tremendous opportunity to tap into yourself, to find your why again.
  •  Change up your routines. Spice up your life by making small adjustments; wake up one hour earlier every morning, try out a new hobby, meet up with a friend you haven’t seen in a while, read a book instead of watching a movie, try out new foods, take a different route to school or work. These tiny things might not end up having the greatest impact in your life, but changing up your habits can keep you from getting into a rut.
  • Clean. For me, personally, cleaning is rather therapeutic. When I feel unmotivated and uninspired it helps a lot to either rearrange things in the apartment or to get rid of junk I don’t need. When things are neat and tidy around me I feel refreshed, and ready to get on with my day.
  • Write your future. Before doing this exercise I like you to get rid of self-doubt and thoughts such as ”I’m not good enough, I can’t achieve my goals” etcetera. Just for once, for 20 minutes, allow yourself to dream freely. What are your deepest desires? How would you like your future to look like? While doing this exercise write as if it has already happened. Don’t use words such ”I want” or ”I wish”, rather use the word ”I am”. If you could have the life you’ve always dreamt of what would it look like? Be as detailed as possible. You might feel silly while doing this, thoughts might pop up in your head; ”Do you really believe that you could do that?” Why? Why are we doubting ourselves all the time? Wouldn’t it be nice if we once and for all allowed ourselves to be exactly who we wished to be? And you know what, you might not end up achieving all of your amazing goals, but at least you dared to dream, dared to believe in yourself. And that, my friend, is bloody amazing.

Late night conversations with the moon

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Wherever life plants you,

Flourish with grace.

Explore the unseen,

Take chances.

Be brave.

It’s time to,

Press play.

……….

i see ocean

in your eyes.

i smell the flowers

of your heart.

every flaw,

insecurity

cracked open,

bleeding.

soft raindrops

resting on your cheeks,

a reflection of me,

healing.

……….

How come?

​

​

”Cause this one

not afraid

to trash the wall.”

​

​

– late night conversations with the Moon

……….

the stars told her to

dance in

the sunlight

kiss in the rain

breathe in the

wild air

​

live like you’re not

from there

You say my breath

Calms down

When I’m next to thee,

I say your eyes

Speak loudly

When they lay on me.

Still your breath

Pounds faster

When you’re next to me,

As my eyes tranquil

When they lay on thee.

……….

do you believe in we said she

do you said he

maybe said she

ain’t gonna be easy said he

who said it will said she

worth it said he

true said she

not yet said he

no said she

won’t forget said he

impossible said she

love me said he

set me free said she

but with me said he

……….

​

”And if you think

his November rain

is too heavy,

you don’t deserve

his blossoming trees

early April.

He’s a once in a lifetime

season,

paving the way for

the winter,

and eventually

the spring.

This cycle of life,

cycle of you,

beautifully entwined,

while moving towards

the summer,

perfectly aligned.”

​

​

– late night conversations with the Moon

At least we’re breathing the same air – You and I

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”We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”
-Anaïs Nin

5 AM. ‘A good night’s sleep? Merely a memory,’ the young boy thought while trying to scratch his upper back. His left hand reached out to the other side of the bed, searching for something that wasn’t there. He grabbed the pillow, pulled it close to his chest, forced himself to awaken old memories, old scents. Regardless of how hard he tried he could not forget that scent. There were people who got caught up in old memories while listening to music. It was the smell, that haunted him.

He dragged himself out of bed to open the balcony door. His feet touched the raw, biting surface. He was paralyzed, and in some miraculous way his broken heart still found a way to beat. The thunderstorm had kept him up all night. He had never gotten over them, traumatised since early childhood. And the rashes, those damn rashes. He had never gotten rid of them either. ‘Will I ever get over this,’ he whispered to himself, staring at the empty bed.

……………..

The young boy took a quick jump to the side, and hid behind the old oak tree. Dirty leaves lying on the wet grass, sticking firmly to his shoes. He observed the old man’s wrinkly face, his tired eyes appeared to be completely lost in the pages. Is it even possible to read a book so water damaged? He decided to move a bit closer, and with every step his heartbeat started to slow down. The air was still humid despite the rain that had been pouring down during the night. The old man looked up. He placed the book in his pocket and moved to the left as soon as he saw him. His eyes gazing at the dark clouds coming in. ‘It will most probably be here within an hour or so.’

‘It kept me up all night,’ the young boy said, scratching his right leg.

‘There’s no rainbow without the rain.’ The old man took a glimpse at his leg. ‘Mosquitos?’

‘No, rashes. Kept me up all night.’ The young boy looked down at his once white converses. He usually didn’t have problems this time of the year. Now he could barely sit still, even though every cell in his body was screaming for silence.

‘Yet, here we are, breathing the same air, watching the same night sky. The same stars, guiding us, and illuminating our souls when we’ve found ourselves astray in the dark,’ the old man replied.

They could hear the thunder from far distant. The young boy scratched his forearm while a tender breeze brushed his cheek. In just seconds the wind got stronger. ‘But it aches. It aches so bad I can’t breathe. When does it stop?’

The old man closed his eyes. ‘If it was love, then never.’ 

_____
l.m.v

How to set and achieve goals

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”Hi there, dear dreamer. Time to take some action.”

If there would be a picture in the dictionary of a dreamer I’m pretty sure there would be a picture of me. I’m the dreamiest of all dreamers. I dream day and night. Night and day. And while in my dreams I find myself dreaming. Yes I believe you get the point. And as I very much enjoy being a dreamer, there’s this part of me that now would love to take some damn action.

What can I do this month that will bring me one step closer to where I want to be?

Setting daily, weekly or monthly intentions is a great way in order to achieve the desired goals you have in life.

Many people are afraid of setting both short and long term goals. Goal setting is avoided because one is afraid of failure, and scared to let oneself down if the goals aren’t achieved. Things not working out the way you planned is not failure. You learn from everything you go through in life. Regret, however, is a feeling that should be avoided at all costs. I’ve always been inspired by courageous and ambitious humans. Humans that take action and believe in themselves. I like to think that there’s a human like that somewhere inside of me, however far I need to dig in order to find her.

WOOP

I’ve read about a theory called WOOP by Gabriele Oettingen (a Professor of Psychology at New York University and the University of Hamburg). This theory got me interested, and I would like to bring it to practise in order to see if it would help me reach my goals.

What is WOOP?

According to the site woopmylife.org ”WOOP is a science-based mental strategy that people can use to find and fulfill their wishes, set preferences, and change their habits.”

WOOP is an acronym for:

WISH: What is your most important wish or concern in your life? Pick a wish that is challenging for you but that you can fulfill.

OUTCOME: What would be the best thing, the best outcome about fulfilling your wish? How would fulfilling your wish make you feel?

Now take a moment and imagine the outcome. Imagine things fully.

OBSTACLE: What is it within you that holds you back from fulfilling your wish? What is it in you that stands in the way of you fulfilling your wish? What is your main inner obstacle?

Now take a moment and imagine your obstacle. Imagine things fully.

PLAN: Make an if-then Plan. What can you do to overcome your obstacle? Name one action you can take or one thought you can think to overcome your obstacle.

“The solution isn’t to do away with dreaming and positive thinking. Rather, it’s making the most of our fantasies by brushing them up against the very thing most of us are taught to ignore or diminish: the obstacles that stand in our way.”

– Gabriele Oettingen

Source: woopmylife.org

Setting goals bring happiness

The purpose behind goal setting can be seen as bringing more happiness into life. Firstly, it helps us focus on the things that are important to us, in other words it helps us draw attention away from things that are irrelevant. Secondly, setting goals makes us feel alive and energetic and helps us strive for the things we wish to accomplish. Moreover, it helps us become more enduring and patient. And last but not least, goal setting makes us look for, and create, strategies in order to achieve the desired goals.

Do understand that happiness is not achieved solely by achieving the goal, but through carrying out, and putting into action, one’s potential, skills and talents.

Mindfulness practises for setting & achieving goals

Writing & visualizing. The more specific you are about your goals the better. Write them down, try to be as clear and precise as possible. I strongly believe that putting words, goals – the desired future – on paper will take you one step closer to achieving your dreams. However, this is where I ususally end up, not moving forward – while I love writing about a desired outcome I sometimes struggle with actually doing something to achieve it. Nevertheless, now I’ll start incorporating the obstacles as well as an if-then plan, and hopefully that will make me move past the limiting beliefs and fears I hold inside.

Challenge thyself. Do something that scares you, and watch your confidence grow. It’s very easy to fall into a rut; routines become such a natural part of every day life, and all of a sudden, we stop challenging ourselves. Growth is inevitable in order to achieve goals. We have to push ourselves to do things that make us nervous and terrified (in a good way).

With this being said, as soon as that fear start kicking in I’ll start focusing on being fully present in what I’m doing. Furthermore, I’ll remind myself of how rewarding and satisfying it will feel once I’ve achieved my goals.

I wish you the bestest of luck on your journey towards achieving your goals.

The quest for external validation

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”You don’t need someone else’s permission to live your own life.”

How do one find the confidence to follow their heart, in a world where one were taught to always seek approval from others? ”See me!” ”Value me!” ”Listen to me!”

But in a society where everyone seems to be so caught up in themselves, and simultaneously preoccupied with what everyone else is doing; how can we actually trust anyone but ourselves when it comes to important decisions as what to do with our lives? How can we expect anyone to listen to us if they haven’t even taken the time out of their day to listen to themselves?

This constant need of having to seek approval is a never ending circus. Nevertheless, it’s very common for us humans to seek other people’s blessings before we feel we have the right to do something. We migt be doubting ourselves and our capabilities, and therefore seek to be validated by others.

Confidence is not about being perfect – it’s not about having it all figured out, or needing to have answers to everything all the time. To be confident is to be content with who and where you are, right now, in this moment. Accepting oneself, and allowing oneself to be an unfinished work of art. It’s about not being afraid to ask questions. To speak up about things important to you. To seek answers from within, without feeling the need to ask for permission.

”Intrinsic confidence is when you know who you are, and what you stand for. You don’t need any extrenal validation in order to feel worthy or loved.” l.m.v

When learning a new skill; start by doing it for you, and not for anyone else. Don’t wait for permission from others in order for you to start – seek it from within. Give yourself permission.

If you want to do something, if there’s something you genuinely feel the need to share with the world, then go on and do it. If it’s important to you, then it’s vitally important that you proceed, with or without other people’s consent. And don’t think you’ll have to wait until you’re perfect at it, cause then you’ll probably have to wait forever. With time, consistency and effort you’ll cultivate the knowledge and expertise needed.

And secondly, if you want to grow within a specific field, or enhance a particular skill you have to stop comparing yourself to the ones that already master that skill, to someone that already has practised it for years. And this of course doesn’t mean that you can’t use them as a source of inspiration, but to compare their set of skills to your own could become detrimental to your own development. Remember, you compete with no one but yourself.

I’ve ususally been haunted by thoughts such as – ”Who am I to give advice, or to help people in crisis, I don’t have my own life figured out” (and who has anyway…) But you see, you don’t have to have all the answers to all the questions in order to be a kind and compassionate human being. You’re allowed to have your own struggles, and still be able to provide support. And lately – ”Who am I to create art, I’m not an artist.” No, my paintings might not come with an art degree, and most of the time I wonder what the hell I am doing.

But the thing is – I can’t reallly see myself not doing it. I am an artistic soul, and I have a strong urge to express myself creatively. Whether it is through painting or writing, I have noticed that the more honest and authentic I am the more powerful and free I become. 

As a matter of fact I was not even good at arts while in school (according to my teacher). This being said, I do love colors – I appreciate messing around with paint, releasing emotions and feelings while being caught up in the process of creating. For me art is a form of self-expression. I believe that within each and every one of us lies an artist, wanting to be released. Humans were born to create, and the beauty within that is that there are limitless possibilities for us to embrace our craft. We just need to be still, and open to receiving guidance from the universe. Sometimes the guidance comes in the form of a quiet voice, whispering; ”you need to start painting” – like it did to me. Where does your mind wander when you allow it to travel freely?

”I encourage you to stop for a while. You see, the soul doesn’t usually scream out its desires; usually it is a soft melody, unperceivable to the five senses, nevertheless, something never to be ignored.”l.m.v

I find art to be one of the most beautiful forms of self-expression. The advantage of art is that it can be translated to everyone; you don’t have to be speaking a certain language, or being a certain age, or having a certain background, in order to understand and appreciate art. Art is for everyone. The only thing required from the observer is a sense of curiosity, a willingness to see beyond the five senses, and a desire to tap into their imagination – and that is the moment when art becomes boundless, just like us humans.

Taking care of ourselves is how we are fortified and able to care for others. In other words, we should never neglect our own needs, or sacrifice our self-worth just to please others. It all starts with you. Care for yourself, and speak up about things important to you, and you’ll notice how much easier it will become to also care for others.

With this being said, maybe there’s this thing you wish to do. Something you have been wanting to do for a long time, but you haven’t had the nerve to start. Just go for it. Every journey begins with a single step. Why not take that step today?

How to care less about what other people think

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”The world does not revolve around you and your world shouldn’t revolve around the opinion of others towards you.”

Why should we stop worrying about what other people think about us? Because, most of the time humans are caught up in their own thoughts and concerns, mainly thinking about themselves.

The world does not revolve around you.

A study from Harvard University shows that humans spend most of their time thinking and talking about themselves. Researches conducted a series of experiments to asses how much people liked talking about themselves and why. No matter the test, the researchers found the results pointed the same way: humans get a biochemical buzz from self-disclosure. (Luscombe, 2012).

Maybe it’s because most of the time we’re preoccupied by our own lives, that we assume that somehow other people must be as well. Newsflash – they’re precisely as you – mostly busy thinking about themselves. This is not us being selfish – it’s us being rather human.

With this being said, not caring about what other people think shouldn’t involve you being totally ignorant towards other peoples’ wants and desires.

”How much someone cares about what others think depends—or should depend—on the nature of their relationship.” (Neuman, 2013).

Caring about what your closest friends, family members and collegues/bosses think about you is to some extent very important. Of course you would like to know if you by mistake offended or disrespected someone. You want to be able to have an open dialouge with the people in your life with whom you spend most of your time.

However, if you constantly go around worrying about what others might think about your dreams and desires – comparing yourself to others and judging yourself for not being good enough – then you need to understand; this is not a mindset that will bring you forward.

Below you’ll find 5 ways that hopefully might help you care less about what other people think, and care more about what you actually desire out of life.

5 ways to care less what other people think

Concentrate on yourself

Let’s say you’re thinking about starting a side hustle. Instead of focusing on what you have to offer, you find yourself scrolling through other peoples’ lives, ending up comparing your weaknesses to their strengths. Or you spend your time worrying about what people might say when you finally launch your idea. Rather, redirect the focus back to you – what is it that you’re good at? How can you help or assist others with your skills? What are your interests? It’s vital to do a competitive analysis in case you’re launching your own business – you need to know who you’re competing against, and from there focus on your unique selling point. However, don’t let it distract you from concentrating on yourself and your ideas.

Stay true to your values

The clearer you are about your own set of values, the less you will care about what others think of you. If you’re authentic and honest in the way you’re presenting yourself you will start to feel more confident. Constantly feeling that you have to please others is both time consuming and self-deprecating. If you notice that others won’t like you if you start creating healthy boundaries, and staying true to yourself, then you need to realise that those migth not be your humans. Stay true to your values, the things that are deply rooted within your soul, and you will notice how other peoples’ opinions don’t seem to bother you anymore.

Surround yourself with people you love

As mentioned above, caring about what your closest friends and family members think of you is to some extent something you shouldn’t neglect. However, with a strong connection comes the feelings of comfort and security, withouth the fear of being judged. Therefore, surround yourself with people who care about you, and that want to see you succeed at life. Keep them close to your heart, and let them know that they too are allowed to be exactly who they are.

Share your own story

We all have our own stories to share. Something that might assist another human on his/her journey. You might have gone through something that is similar to what someone is going through right now. Sharing experiences help us feel less alone, and more connected. You might think that your story is nothing to be shared, and no, you don’t have to share your story with the whole world. However, you can start to share it within a smaller group of people, and from there notice how it might benefit another soul, in the most beautiful, authentic way.

Let yourself be inspired

It’s a wonderful feeling when you find yourself being deeply inspired by another human. When you’re inspired by someone’s talents, skills or personality I believe it’s a sign that you have something similar within yourself. Something that you haven’t been able to put forth, simply because you might think that you’re not capable of doing it. Let yourself be inspired – but don’t let it distract you from your own dreams. Instead, let it help you guide you towards your own truth.

References:

Neuman, F. (2013) Caring What Other People Think. Accessed from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fighting-fear/201306/caring-what-other-people-think

Luscombe, B. (2012) Why We Talk About Ourselves: The Brain Likes It. Accessed from: https://healthland.time.com/2012/05/08/why-we-overshare-the-brain-likes-it/

How to live a simpler life

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”Let the stillness guide you.”

A still, simple life, is created from within. However chaotic and stressful the outside world may seem, you’re always guided back to the serene comfort floating above, within and beyond. You sense it, at times you can even touch it, feel it. You’re aware of it. You are it.

It is you.

You don’t have to move to the countryside, declutter your entire home or spend time in solitude 24/7 in order to embrace a slower and simpler kind of living. You can of course, if that is what you want. However, simple living is more about incorporating a more meaningful way of living. In other words, it’s something that is highly connected with your mindset, hence how you spend your everyday life. How you are interacting with others, and the words you’re using when talking to and about yourself.

What kind of intentions are you setting for the day ahead? How do you wish to communicate, and interact with the people in your life? Do you dedicate time to yourself?

Set some time aside to reflect upon these things.

………………..

Make yourself a comforting cup of tea, or brew yourself a nice cup of coffee and grab a piece of paper and pen.

What does it mean to live a more meaningful life?
What is important to me?
Am I focusing on the right things?

Worth mentioning – slow living has nothing in common with being lazy, and not accomplishing things. Rather, it’s the notion of not having to do it all, but to cut things out that doesn’t serve you, and leaving room for the things you love, the things that are necessary and above all – the things that make your heart shine.

There are many suggestions on how to live a slow, simple life, however, how would you describe it? Find your own pace of living, whether it’s moving to a smaller town, embracing a more minimalistic living, spending less, working more effectively, cooking meals with your kids, having deep face-to-face conversations with loved ones, setting time aside for creative endeavors, or simply by spending precious time in nature each and every day.

You don’t have to do it all, some days simply existing is enough. Listen to your breath, step out of your head, and live a little.

”Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

– Lao Tzu

Slow, simple living can in a way be seen as living in accordance with the seasons. Just as every season – each and every moment you experience in life, every feeling you’re feeling – serves a deeper purpose. When we take time to slow down and grasp the meaning behind an event we gain a better understanding on who we are, and what we want out of life.

Know that it’s completely okay, and necessary, to be winter when you’re winter, and summer when you’re summer. Trust the seasons changing, trust your inner voice; it knows.