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The quest for external validation

”You don’t need someone else’s permission to live your own life.”

How do one find the confidence to follow their heart, in a world where one were taught to always seek approval from others? ”See me!” ”Value me!” ”Listen to me!”

But in a society where everyone seems to be so caught up in themselves, and simultaneously preoccupied with what everyone else is doing; how can we actually trust anyone but ourselves when it comes to important decisions as what to do with our lives? How can we expect anyone to listen to us if they haven’t even taken the time out of their day to listen to themselves?

This constant need of having to seek approval is a never ending circus. Nevertheless, it’s very common for us humans to seek other people’s blessings before we feel we have the right to do something. We migt be doubting ourselves and our capabilities, and therefore seek to be validated by others.

Confidence is not about being perfect – it’s not about having it all figured out, or needing to have answers to everything all the time. To be confident is to be content with who and where you are, right now, in this moment. Accepting oneself, and allowing oneself to be an unfinished work of art. It’s about not being afraid to ask questions. To speak up about things important to you. To seek answers from within, without feeling the need to ask for permission.

”Intrinsic confidence is when you know who you are, and what you stand for. You don’t need any extrenal validation in order to feel worthy or loved.”


When learning a new skill; start by doing it for you, and not for anyone else. Don’t wait for permission from others in order for you to start – seek it from within. Give yourself permission.

If you want to do something, if there’s something you genuinely feel the need to share with the world, then go on and do it. If it’s important to you, then it’s vitally important that you proceed, with or without other people’s consent. And don’t think you’ll have to wait until you’re perfect at it, cause then you’ll probably have to wait forever. With time, consistency and effort you’ll cultivate the knowledge and expertise needed.

And secondly, if you want to grow within a specific field, or enhance a particular skill you have to stop comparing yourself to the ones that already master that skill, to someone that already has practised it for years. And this of course doesn’t mean that you can’t use them as a source of inspiration, but to compare their set of skills to your own could become detrimental to your own development. Remember, you compete with no one but yourself.

I’ve ususally been haunted by thoughts such as – ”Who am I to give advice, or to help people in crisis, I don’t have my own life figured out” (and who has anyway…) But you see, you don’t have to have all the answers to all the questions in order to be a kind and compassionate human being. You’re allowed to have your own struggles, and still be able to provide support. And lately – ”Who am I to create art, I’m not an artist.” No, my paintings might not come with an art degree, and most of the time I wonder what the hell I am doing.

But the thing is – I can’t reallly see myself not doing it. I am an artistic soul, and I have a strong urge to express myself creatively. Whether it is through painting or writing, I have noticed that the more honest and authentic I am the more powerful and free I become. 

As a matter of fact I was not even good at arts while in school (according to my teacher). This being said, I do love colors – I appreciate messing around with paint, releasing emotions and feelings while being caught up in the process of creating. For me art is a form of self-expression. I believe that within each and every one of us lies an artist, wanting to be released. Humans were born to create, and the beauty within that is that there are limitless possibilities for us to embrace our craft. We just need to be still, and open to receiving guidance from the universe. Sometimes the guidance comes in the form of a quiet voice, whispering; ”you need to start painting” – like it did to me. Where does your mind wander when you allow it to travel freely?

”I encourage you to stop for a while. You see, the soul doesn’t usually scream out its desires; usually it is a soft melody, unperceivable to the five senses, nevertheless, something never to be ignored.”


I find art to be one of the most beautiful forms of self-expression. The advantage of art is that it can be translated to everyone; you don’t have to be speaking a certain language, or being a certain age, or having a certain background, in order to understand and appreciate art. Art is for everyone. The only thing required from the observer is a sense of curiosity, a willingness to see beyond the five senses, and a desire to tap into their imagination – and that is the moment when art becomes boundless, just like us humans.

Taking care of ourselves is how we are fortified and able to care for others. In other words, we should never neglect our own needs, or sacrifice our self-worth just to please others. It all starts with you. Care for yourself, and speak up about things important to you, and you’ll notice how much easier it will become to also care for others.

With this being said, maybe there’s this thing you wish to do. Something you have been wanting to do for a long time, but you haven’t had the nerve to start. Just go for it. Every journey begins with a single step. Why not take that step today?

Acrylic Art On Canvas For Sale

i never promised you my rose garden 55*46 cm
water lilies 40*40 cm


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