”Darling, you’re never fully completed;you’re a work of art.”
When we go about our day to day life, doing the same mundane things on repeat, it’s easy to fall into the belief that we haven’t accomplished much. You might believe that there haven’t been any changes in your life the past couple of years. However, when you take a closer look at yourself, and the things you’ve done the past months, or even years, you realize that there have actually been some major changes going on. Changes that just happened, without you being aware. Like all of a sudden you realize that things are really different now.
”We have our eyes on things, we don’t yet possess, when instead we should embrace all the things we already have.”
The thing is, when you’re caught up in the spinning wheel, it’s common to not stop and reflect, but to just keep on pushing further. Striving for more of this and that, everything you don’t yet have. We have our eyes on things we don’t yet possess, when instead we should embrace all the things we already have. The moment we honour the stillness, and actually take a closer look at all the good surrounding us, we will eventually notice all the things that have transformed in our lives, so within so without.
In the end of 2019 I decided to write down both minor and major things I’d accomplished during the past decade. Before I started writing I thought that I haven’t done much, at least it felt like that, especially if I started to compare my life to other people’s lives (why even do that…) Nevertheless, as soon as I went through the things I’ve done – the degrees I’d received, the countries I’d visited, the people I’d met, the blogs I’d created, the marathons I’d run, the humans I’d fallen in and out of love with, the cities I’d lived in – I realized pretty fast that I’d actually done a lot. However, these things I mentioned are more or less tangible things. And I strongly believe that the changes I’ve made, that have had the greatest impact on me, are the changes that have happened within.
”More often than not, internal changes are the ones helping us evolve into the humans we are meant to become.”
I believe that the changes that we can’t perceive with our eyes, are the ones that in the end, transforms us the most. More often than not, internal changes are the ones helping us evolve into the humans we are meant to become. In other words, changing the way we view ourselves, and the world around us, are the stepping stone taking us further along this path of life. Changing the way we think and believe are the most crucial, first step, before putting ourselves in action.
Some changes we actively pursue, while other changes happen with or without our consent. When it comes to the changes that we wish to manifest into our lives there might be the misconception that it’s going to be really easy, super motivating and inspiring all the time, when in fact, it’s not. Change takes time; usually you don’t go and change your whole life around overnight (however, in some cases you might). Changes that are worth sticking to often require both time and effort. Nevertheless, you stick to them, cause you know that in the end they will have a great impact on your life, as well as your overall well-being.
”Nevertheless, the more we come to understand ourselves, and why we want to change, the longer lasting the change will be…”
With this being said, change has to come from a good place. Ask yourself why you’re seeking this change. Is it to prove something to others, or simply cause you know it will be good for you. Non of us is perfect, and it takes hard work, and resilience to look ourselves in the mirror, and to face the skeletons in the closet. Nevertheless, the more we come to understand ourselves, and why we want to change, the longer lasting the change will be, especially if the change stems from the heart. Get real about why you want to change things.
Why do some habits last, while others don’t?
”…if you choose to do something you need to work for it, with or without the motivation.”
Fact is, you won’t be and feel inspired all the time. This implies that changing your habits, aka changing your life, really forces you to step up your game, and to actively put in the effort. Don’t expect motivation to be knocking on your door every day, asking you to hang out. Still, if you choose to do something you need to work for it, with or without the motivation.
For example habits such as drinking more water, spending more time in nature and less time on the phone, spreading more kindness and less hatred, more books and less TV, more plants and less meat, more stretch and less stress, not over-thinking stuff, waking up one hour earlier, and saying no when you need alone time, are all examples of routines that, at first, might seem easy to stick to, but ends up taking to much of our effort and time. Leading us back to old familiar habits and routines.
In order to stick to habits like these you need to be real with yourself. Why do you want to change your habits? By sticking to new, healthier habits how will it improve your life?
Let’s take negative self talk as an example. You might have become aware that you mostly speak negatively about yourself, and that you constantly doubt yourself, and your abilities. Your job is now to figure out the next step you need to take towards a more positive self image. Being self-aware is an important step towards change; you now know what you need to change, and you’re ready to start assessing how you will prepare and act upon this change. In some cases you might have to ask for help and guidance from a professional, in other cases you might have the capability to heal and help yourself. You’ll know what will be the right option for you.
In conclusion, cultivating change won’t always be effortless and pleasant. However, you need to bare in mind that things won’t magically happen, or change by themselves. If you really crave change, you’ll have to work for it. And you’ll have to put in the work every single day, until it has become your new way of living. When you’re motivated to change, and when you’re aligned with the changes you wish to make, you’ll notice that it will become much easier.
Little by little you’ll transform, so within so without.